What did one lion say to the other lion? Nothing. There was no other lion. This particular lion had horrible social anxiety so he spent most of his time alone, eating buffalo poop and playing World of Warcraft thus further alienating himself from the other lions. He was a very lonely lion.

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A man is driving down the highway. He falls asleep at the wheel due to his case of narcolepsy, and dies in a fiery car crash.

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What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike.

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why did the T-Rex eat the other dinosaur? Because it is a carnivorous animal.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a buddhist monk walk into a bar. The bartender says " What are you drinking?"

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Why did the man take a shower?, he didint smell so good...

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A boy owned a dog that was uncommonly shaggy. Many people remarked upon its considerable shagginess. When the boy learned that there are contests for shaggy dogs, he entered his dog. The dog won first prize for shagginess in both the local and the regional competitions. The boy entered the dog in ever-larger contests, until finally he entered it in the world championship for shaggy dogs. But the day before the championship the dog died.

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Boy:U a dime Girl: she said ur a quarter Boy:-_- dumb B***h

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A man went back in time and warned nobody about anything and pretended to be from the time he choose to go to and lived a happy life eventually finding a wife. He later found out he had a baby on the way, he named it after his great grandfather who was a war hero. He later found out that many years later his son had a son and they named it after his grandpa. He went to the hospital where he died just as his grandson had a baby and they named it after his father. The man died. End.

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That awkwad moment when a homeless man runs naked around a golf cource yelling hears the 19th hole bitches.

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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What Happens when you shoot a deer? It's Dead

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a chicken and was probably not aware that it was walking across a road at all, especially considering that it was likely in a low-traffic rural area.

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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Q:What do you do when you see a talking raccoon A:Quit the LSD

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Q. Why did the chick go to KFC? A. To visit his mother

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What would it take to reunite the Beatles? Two more bullets.

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what do you call 2 walking Arabs with long beards? pedestrians.

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What's the difference between a bag full of dead babies and a ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

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what do you call a fat man standing in the middle of the street a fat man

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A man comes home to his wife sleeping with their neighbor. This lead to their divorce four months later.

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How many blonds douse it take to change a light bulb I dont know it hasn't happened yet

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There is big difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse And helping your uncle jack off a horse

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead, ok!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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