How do you make a plumber sad? You murder his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

2 + 2 = 4

thumb_up thumb_down +7

So this guy filled with blood, right? This caused his veins to protrude and him to bleed strongly when he cut his wrists with razors later that night- because of his struggle with depression and substance abuse.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Roses are red, Bacon is brown, this poem makes no sence, BACON!!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get hit by a car and die.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How much does a polar bear weigh? About 800 pounds

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Who is stupid and no one likes him. Me. :(

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Nero, man, I mean I will hurt you, I am on my way to the hospital, and seriously that pic does not look real, seriously on a hospital? I mean man, I am really sorry! I nearly killed you, how was i supposed to know you do not care about your teeth and take half a bottle of that calcium stuff? My mom? Yeah sure! She laughed at the message you sent her, and if you touch my sis, ill kill you, anyway I am on my way, you better change your mind or I will kick your ass!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Care to fill in some of the etc etc`s for me? Its not like we are complete strangers one to another either, you and I I mean, I feel pretty secure around you.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Holocaust jokes are not funny. And I don't see the humor behind them.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I haven't had sex for about 2 years, 10 months, 20 days and 4 minutes. It doesn't bother me though.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock knock. Who's there? The interrupting doctor. The inter-- --You have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Poop

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A terminte walks into a pub and ask is the bar tender here?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a man with no arm or legs lying in front of a door? Idk, but how did he get there, and where is his aid to help him get out of this situation?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the woman shout at the bin? Because she is mentally ill

thumb_up thumb_down +7

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Nothing, it's still a dinosaur! Her sexual orientation is regardless. ~kyle hudson

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the young teenager cut class? To cut himself! Get it?! Its a pun!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: What's purple and eats desks. A: My dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Whats brown and sticky? Shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Tool will release their 5th album this summer.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is 33 + 1? Penis

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the Mexican say to the Pirate? Can I have a pound for my bus, pal?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops