Why was the ginger crying? Because they used him as the fire hydrant.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Nothing.

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ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha...................... Wats so funny?

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i named my son Frodo because he was little

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What do you call a camel with three humps? A deformed bactrian

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why did the girl fall off the slide? she was pushed, by her dad...

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A: What do you call a deer with no eyes? A: I got NoEyeDeer!!!

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An automobile mechanic busted an engine fuse. A prostitute had oral sex with a Marine. An Inuit hunter detonated a sea mammal with TNT. What do they all have in common? They all blew a seal.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Dave. -Dave who? -Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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Knock Knock Who’s there? Your son Your son who? Your son who’s sick of having a paranoid mother who won’t just open the door!

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I'm typing this one handed... ... Because I'm an amputee.

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I honestly have no idea what is upsetting you, why would I lie about my name? Please don't leave, you do remember me don't you? Can I call you over?

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Q: Why do geese fly in a V? A: It's more aerodynamic.

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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Q: What do you call a blonde, a brunette, and a red head all who are 16 years old and standing in a school? A: High School Students

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A man walks into bar carrying a nondescript glass bottle of beer. The bartender speaks up in a harsh tone "We don't allow outside drink here buddy! If you're drinking here, you're buying it from here! The man replies, "Oh I'm sorry, it's just that this isn't a normal beer. Every time you take a swig from it, you are granted one wish!" The bartender, who is at this point getting visibly irritated, "I ain't got no time for fairy tales. Screw off!" The man seemingly unfazed by this anger tells him, "I'm not any kind of liar. I have three sips left. You can have them if you want." The bartender snatches the bottle with his unwashed hands from the man. "Fine" he says gruffly "I'll drink your magic beer." He thinks for a brief minute and says to himself, "I wish I had an expensive sports car." and takes a drink from the bottle. No later then a second later, a Ferrari pulls up into the driveway. It is a sleek and dark red color. It was of the latest model and did not have a single scratch whatsoever. The bartender's eyes pop wide open in astonishment and he quickly makes his second wish, "I wish I had a beautiful girlfriend!". And he took another drink. No later than five seconds, A leggy 5'7 blonde bombshell steps out of the entrance. She dons a short white skirt, Long red stiletto heels and a jet black spaghetti strap top. The bartender starts to sweat and looks a little nervous. "And my final wi-EUGHAAAHGGHHH!" The bartender collapses from the floor drooling from the mouth. It turns out that the liquor he was drinking was 180-proof alcohol that his old liver could not take. The blonde woman steps back and lets out a disgusting shriek. "Ewww, this old ugly hobo just ODed on the floor. Can we go somewhere else for drinks Jeremy?" Her boyfriend replies, "Yeah good idea babe. This place looks a trash heap anyway. You deserve better." The couple do not hesitate in stepping into their sleek red Ferrari and driving off. The man who had given the bartender the beer proceeded to check the dead man's pockets and rob it of all of it's contents. Nobody ever caught the man, and not a single person in the bar cared enough about the bartender to call 911. Moral of the story: Magic does not exist and life sucks.

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You go on Nero, he got all red, not sure if he is mad or ashamed or both, but we can all tell that man is jealous. Employee.

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What did the Golden Retriever say when asked about the meaning of life? woof.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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how do you break up with someone lightly and not hurt their feeling I dont want to hurt your feeling but i hate you

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Roses are red Violets are blue this doesn't rhyme i like trains.

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A white guy jumps over the fence belonging to a Mexican family

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Knock Knock Who's there? Cindy Cindy who? Cindy your neighbor. I was wondering if I could borrow some milk, I ran out.

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What did the spider say to the lobster? Nothing, they are enemies and don't live in the same habitat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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