what did the cop say to the robber... freeze bitch hope you like prison food and penis

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How do you get an Orphan's hands to bleed? Tell them to clap till daddy gets home.

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- Knock knock. - Who's there? - Jehovah - Jehovah who? - Jehovah's Witness - Go f*** yourself.

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CHAD'S A FAG!!!

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My dad calls me a son of a bitch and I'm like "hey! You married her"

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How do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

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whats better than a girl getting hit by a car? a girl getting hit by a car with my dick in her

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 raped 9.

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Your mother is so fat; I love fat fat people.

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What did the fat kid get for Christmas? Diabetes.

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Why did thomas make a big mess on the ground? Beacuse he fell of a cliff

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Tic tac toe Your mother and I are getting a divorce.

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What is small, red, and can't fit through a doorway? A baby with a spear through its head. Posted By: Lram

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Where's the soap?

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What looks like a black book but is actually white? I don't know because it can't look like a black book if it's white.

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your momma's so fat that she weighs a lot

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Why was the black family eating KFC? Because KFC tastes very nice and there was a discount on the family bucket.

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What did the church say to the house? You need jesus

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Q: What's purple and flies? A: Super Grape

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What's funny about your mom? Nothing, she died three weeks ago.

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There was once a family of tomatoes. A daddy tomato a mommy tomato and a baby tomato. they decided one day to take a walk. but the baby was taking forever so the daddy tomato walked back STOMPED on him and yelled "CATCHUP"

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How did the stuntman die? He was gored by a buffalo on a trip to Yellowstone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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