What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

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When lives gives you lemons you might just be dyslexic, because life cannot actually give you lemons

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What did the kid say to the ice-cream Man Can I have a duck please

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, but the real question is why there are two flies having sex inside a light bulb.

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Teacher: Pop quiz time class. Sally, what year did we first land on the moon? Sally: It was 1969. Teacher: That is correct. Larry, who killed JFK? Larry: What? I didn't do it, I wasn't even born yet! Teacher: Just answer the question Larry: But sir, I swear I would never do that. You have to believe me. Teacher: Larry, you're an idiot

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Guess what else smells like tuna!?! A dead tuna fish in a can

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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What did the farmer say to the duck? I don't know, but the duck doesn't give a f.....

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An artist walks into a bar and orders a rum and ckoe. The bartender reads the first sentence and realizes the artist is dyslexic and fixes him a rum and coke.

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roses are red, violets are blue, im not going out with someone that belongs in a zoo.

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What did the chair say when someone sat on it? Nothing. The person's butt covered the chair's mouth.

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yo mamas so ugly.... everyone died. the end.

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Why did anna stop wanting to build a snowman? Beacuse she died of cancer.

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God has lived since the eternal eternity right? And one day he said let there be light? NO WONDER HE IS SUCH A NEEDY GREEDY EVIL FUCK! HOW WOULD YOU FEEL AFTER AEONS ENDLESS IN TOTAL DARKNESS? Moral: It is time for the prince, to stand up as the emperor, then no one shall doubt the power of the moral man.

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Q: How did the dead baby get to the other side of the road? A: I threw it over there.

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Why did the man open up a umbrella? Because it was raining..

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Roses are red, Violets are brown, F*** who's had a shit in my garden.

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that awkward moment when there is no candy in the van.....

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What do you get when you cross a muffin with chocolate chips? A chocolate chip muffin.

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I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.

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David entered a radio contest to see who had the best pun; his pun was insufficient and he did not win.

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refridgerator

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What did the black kid get on his report card? Math: C- English: D+ Social Studies: C+ Gym:A+ Science: D- N.P.P.

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Knock knock Who's there No one. The house has been vacant for years.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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