A man goes to the doctor's office. The doctor says, "I have some bad news, and some worse news. The bad news is you have alzheimer's. The worse news is you have cancer." The man breaks down in tears, realizing that his life as he knew it is over, and recognizing the horrible burden he is about to become on his family, both financially and emotionally.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Kelly Oh hi Kelly! Long time no see! I know! I've been my working fingers to the bone ever since I got that promotion and I barely have any free time! That must be tough. It is but it pays bills! Being a mother of three isn't a task for the faint of heart. Now Kelly,I was wondering how you thought of the remodeled kitchen....

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Hey man. what? squidbillies.

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What's is the worst thing america has done? Jersey Shore, We mad those idiots rich.

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what is long, white, and used almost everywhere? there are a lot of things that fit this description, so it would be highly illogical to make a guess.

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your mums so fat! "last time i heard that i fell of my dinosaur!!" Oh man are you ok?

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Chuck Norris never shows emotion!!!... because he is a pragmatic person and thinks in a more logical manner.

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Why does everyone treat Jesus as some sort of saint for making five thousand people bread, when Hitler made six million people toast?

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1.Why were the black men asked to leave the bar? Because it was a womens bar. 2.Why did the 40 year old get an erection? Because he was excited.

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy. But I have Alzheimer's... Hey, I just met you...

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How many fish does it take to brush their teeth? Jp's worth of fish isn't enough.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Nothing. His parents are dead and Santa doesn't exist.

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what looks like a bug, lives in larch mount and lives in a mansion? Aodhan Hearty, lied about the mansion... he lives in a web with his buggy family

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Why wouldn't Rose let go of Jack? Freddie told her that he was just a poor boy and nobody loves him.

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HAHAH MY WORD IS HAPPY CLAPPY

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What's black and sits at the top of the stair case? Stephen hawking in a house fire.......

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Tic tac toe Your mother and I are getting a divorce.

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You know who can't stand to put up with my shit? Polio victims.

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How did the man break his arm raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.

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Why did the fat guy smell bad? He just farted diarrhea.

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How does a Welshman take a shit? Like anyone other human being does.

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Did you hear about the dyslexic that choked on his own vimto?

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A Black man walks into a bar. He then has a drink of Alcohol and walks home to return to his family.

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Why did the boy fall of his bike? He's learning to ride and understandably lost his balance.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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