I once had a friend We had our arguments, and went our separate ways.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

two hippo's were in the lake. The water was up to their eyes. What did one hippo say to the other? I don't know why but i keep thinking it's tuesday.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

why was the teenage girl crying? She was molested as a child

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A man walked into a bar. He said ow.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do a turtle and an eagle have in common? They can both fly. Except for the turtle.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Knock Knock. Who's there? Your landlord your being evicted we need you out in 2 weeks.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A guy walks in to a bar and says to the bartender "I'm fed up with all these 'guy walks into a bar' jokes on anti-joke. The bartender says "I have no idea what you're talking about".

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why can't Sally use the swings? Because she has no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there?? ... Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did little Timmy fall off his bike? His pace maker failed.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Roses are grey Violets are grey I am colorblind I hate my life

thumb_up thumb_down +17

willam dafoe

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Random link time! http://www.booksie.com/thrillers/novel/declan_mckimm/pure-evil

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A man was walking down the street in the pitch black dark and he looked into a pitch black dark window. What did he see? Pitch black dark people.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's worse than a teacher yelling at you? The holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +15

im a policeman the car infront of me had a foot hanging out of the trunk. i pulled him over. i closed the trunk and proceeded to inform him of the dangers of open trunks.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Life is confusing. Really how so? He just walked up to me five minutes ago with a pair of socks taped on both sides of his face saying humanity is screwed and ran off after peeing on my carpet.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q:What's worst than reading a bad joke? A: Reading a joke on anti-joke and the person who posted the joke obviously doesn't get how a anti-joke works. For example... read this again ^^

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Patrick, I just thought of something funnier than 24. Lemme hear it. 25.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

I really want to wear my Christmas leggings Actually I lied about the leggings, they're tights I love anal

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A man buys a kitten from the store. He gets home, takes it out of its cage, and realizes that it wasn't the kitten he wanted. He then returns to the store and exchanges for the kitten he originally wanted, but then decides to keep both because he is feeling particularly hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Whats worse then Justin Bieber? It's a trick question, there's is nothing worse than her

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are red, violets are blue, you have a disease, it's called cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Breaydn Simmons walked into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops