Beethoven! It is true? Did you really lose your hearing? Yes.

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Bitch

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I don't always drink beer but when I do, I viciously beat my wife and children.

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Why was the jewish boy crying? i lied he was happy.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why don't women wear watches?...Because the economy is at an all-time low and it would be reasonable to presume that a person couldn't afford an item like this, thus, trying to budget in a watch that could cost anywhere from 50-100$ would be a risky financial move depending on their yearly salary.

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Why is the sky blue? Time to get a watch.

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What smells like diarrhea and looks like poop? A rotten banana.

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What did dick Cheney say to his friend that he accidentally shot in the face while quail hunting? Sorry for shooting you in the face

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How many people with Alzheimer's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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Where do cows get cultured? They don't, they get slaughtered first.

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Nothing

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A Chinese man and an African man walk into a bar. Its good to see so much multiculturalism in a usually racist society.

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why did the guy throw his clock out the window? because he wanted to see a clock fall out the window

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what do you call cheese thats not yours? stolen, your under arrest

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a psychopath

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knock, knock who's their? police get down on the ground!

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What has two leg, but cant walk? A paraplegic.

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When life gives you limes, say hey! wait a second ,aren't these meant to be lemons? then kill yourself

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every man comes from between a women's legs for the rest of their lives they try to get back in

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What the difference between a rabbit an a eagle? They both fly except for the rabbit

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a drink.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Jesus. Jesus who? You're going to hell.

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Have you seen Stevie wonders new house..... It's ok he hasn't either.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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