What do a grape and an elephant have in common? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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One night, a man was bitten by Dracula. The first thing to come out of his mouth was "Joke's on you, I have AIDS!" Then proceeded to laugh hysterically until Dracula snapped his neck

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What does a vegetarian eat? colored penis

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Why do blind people laugh at this joke? Because they can't read it and everyone else is laughing.

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What do you get when you cross a Mexican and an African? A baby.

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What did the man say after he was shot? Nothing, because the bullet hit the man with so much impact that he instantly died and was unable to talk at the current time. Others in the surrounding area walked by as if nothing was there.

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why does david stutter during meetings. because he smiles till his cheeks hurt

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How did the corpse cross the road? They can't cross the road they're dead.

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What is in your backyard and is stalking you? Corn

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Why was a mother crying at a hospital? Because a bird threw a stick at her five minutes ago.

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mikey is cute

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Why did Sally fall off the tree? I could explain officer. You see, I was jogging and I was looking for my dog and she went on to me and I told her to stop but she wouldn't listen. I'm innocent I tell you! Innocent!

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Hey there, I like bananas! No you don't.

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no im only tryin to keep it real like a broken peice of cheese.

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What did the no-arm, no-leg, paraplegic orphan with cancer get for christmas? Pregnant.

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What is worse than waking up by your alarm clock on the weekend? 9/11

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What do you call a man who's eating thirty big macs ? Hungry.

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What did the PC say to the Mac? Nothing you idiot! Computers can't talk.

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Roses are red, violets blue, um... that's all i got.

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What did the apple say to the Banana? ....Nothing... fruit don't talk

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What is the color of your spleen? I dont know i'm not a doctor

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What's worse than hitting your thumb with a hammer? Getting your spine ripped off

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Q. What did the monkey say to his little brother? A. Nothing. Monkeys are physically incapable of speaking, therefore it is impossible for them to communicate using the human language.

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Okay, but lets write a contract, if you regret your decision at anytime, you get it all back, minus what I have spent of course, both I and my wife have always wanted to live in a house by the sea, hopefully you nearby. You know, I have never been truly happy because I thought I could change this world, now I know that I tried and failed, maybe I can change myself instead, they say that true change comes from within.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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