Q: How do you fit 100 Jews in a car? A: 2 in the front, 3 in the back and 95 in the ash tray.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesnt come back? A stick.

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Why from a friends phone? I demand a full explanation, here, you got my number, you got my home address, and who the hell was that crying little bitch on the phone? I got friends in the UK which owe me some money, and nothing to lose, if I have to take care of you before you take care of me and even possibly my wife in the crossfire, I will take you down and everything in my path! Moral: Got ya!.

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Q: What does the fox say? A: Nothing. Foxes cannot talk.

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Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

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Why couldn't Stephen Hawking run a marathon? He was struck by a very serious disease, otherwise known as refrigerator to the face, at the age of 5.

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Knock knock Who's there? John Oh hello John come on in mate.

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Why couldn't the girl go to the bathroom? Because she was obese.

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What do you call a guy with aids? Your dad

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Chuck Norris can get a nuke in Black Ops.

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why do ducks have webbed feet? to stomp out fires. why do elephants have flat feet? to stomp out the burining ducks.

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roses are red violets are blue your moms a whore thats it

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A man quites his job to open a coffee shop which has been a dream of his for years, The shop does well with a healthy supply of customers and a steady income,The man is now financially stable.

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SpiderMan, under that mask and your superhero clothes who are You really? Under these clothes, I...Am.... naked

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. It was hanging on a clothes line he didn't see, the fact that he was dyslexic is irellevant.

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Your dad got tired while running, so he stopped running.

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Emily Scarpello...Fat Couch

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If all ziggles are zaggles and all zaggles are zumbles, then why is your mother a whore?

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What did I wake upto this morning that was white , cold and 2 inches deep? My tiny flaccid penis.

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A black man is seen next to a dead man. Who do you call? The ambulance.

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Whats brown and sticky? Poop on a warm summers night.

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Mum says therirs ups in life... I have the Downs

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What color is cotton? White Well in Afrca, they grow black cotton

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Actually it was me Josh brown

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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