How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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Why was the man in a great deal of pain? Because he was hit in the face with a sack of potatoes.

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what do you call lots of jews on a train? Call them what you want they aren't coming back!

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Whats 89 x 67? Sponge. Whats 10 + 9? 19 Whats 9 + 10? 21!

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Wanna hear a joke? Your life.

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Want to hear a joke You're Adopted

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What Do call a dog with an e A doge

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What has seven legs and cant walk? A paraplegic, and I lied about five of those legs.

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what do you call a pie in a roll a roll and pie

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Q: What's the meaning of life? A: A bush, have you ever been dragged through one? It hurts.

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What did the aliens say when they first landed on planet Earth? We've come back for Anthony Davis.

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What did tyler say to Jake? My pussy is wet jew

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what has 911 got in commen with most bank robberies? all r inside jobs

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Q: How many Marys does it take to drive you crazy? A: Just one ::stares at Mary Annoyingly::

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Knock knock *the family is on vacation and doesn't answer*

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Whats The Meaning Of Life? 42. But everyone has their own perception so you have your own answer so why the heck did i write this joke. Oh wait Im writing still. The answer is 42.

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Whats the same about a jew and firewood? They both burn.

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Skinny people fart less.

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A man walks into a bar. Nothing happens that's worth explaining.

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How do you stop a bus from hitting you?? You throw small children to impede the progress of the bus.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because the 99p mcdonalds mayo chicken was popular in the coop.

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I'm Stephen Hawking, and I'm a PC.

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A man walks in to a bar and orders a drink. He has been drinking alone every day since his wife an unborn child died in an horrific car accident.

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But I like being mean and angry! Nevermind, 158 according to Mensa`s standard bullshit test (my wife got 160, I remember we argued a lot over it because I kept insisting they would not use the same predictable pattern again... I overestimated them wildly I can make more advanced stuff than they can, and in no way do I consider myself "The worlds elite required to ensue the future survival and salvation of mankind`s finest and fittest" those fucking arrogant suckers,,,) Below average in any test including American presidents and historical events. Aaand about 450 in any bullshit online test which then offers you "more accurate tests" which cost money and probably destroys the fake confidence any idiot buying such a test in the first place might have built up,

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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