A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Question: What do you call a Black person who cooks food at a fried chicken restaurant? Answer: A chef

thumb_up thumb_down +4

In Soviet Russia..... the exact same thing happens, stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you do if your batteries die and you have none left? Go to your nearest battery selling retail store and buy some more.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between a horse and a chicken? They're different species and also the chicken is female, while the horse I was referring to is male.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was Timmy crying? Because he got raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the chicken cross the road? Although this is a highly improbable scenario, one would assume that, being a chicken, it did not have much of an intuitive idea as to what to do while it was stray for whatever reason in an urbanized area. Considering chickens do not harbor nearly as much of a mental capacity as it would require to even comprehend the concept of a "road" and is impervious to the idea of oncoming traffic and such, the fact that it happened to be crossing the road was in fact not even recognized by the chicken. For this reasons I deem this question unanswerable.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why is it a shame if a kid gets run over by a car? I like the newspaper headlines about stabbings better.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

''Hey, this is absolutely true. There's an organization now called 'Draft Dick Cheney for President, 2012.' Yeah. Good luck with that. They tried to draft Dick Cheney five times during Vietnam. That didn't work.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Patient: Doctor Doctor! Every Time I Drink Some Tea, My Eye Is Really Sore! Doctor: Next Time Take The Spoon Out...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is black white green blue and is wet and blind and deaf and homosexual all at the same time? What ever I just described

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: How do you keep a carnival fish for more than a week? A: Place it in formaldehyde when you get home

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why is wood brown Because wood is brown

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A blonde and a brunette are walking down a street. What a great way to parade and recognise the various colours that lie upon ones head.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what would Jesus do? Get crucified and die.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

"Free to play" Play free "right now" "Free forever"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A Mexican walks into a bar. He walked out with a concussion. -ilikecrepes97

thumb_up thumb_down +4

"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Dracula." "Dracula who?" He pulls his cape up to his face and says, "May the force be with you,"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q. Where do all funny jokes come from? A. The people who made them up

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No Neither has Stevie

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Sally fall off the swing? - Because she had no arms. Why couldn't she get back up again? - Because she had no legs. Why didn't anyone help her? - Because she had no friends. Knock knock. -Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a truck full of dead babies? Not enough.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you make an elf sad? Murder his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops