Q: what's worse than getting the flu? A: getting cancer

Did you hear about the guy with no legs? He had them blown off by a tank shell in Afganistan.

A comedian walks onto the stage. Antehumor.

What's green and red all over? That terminally ill child's vomit.

There are two cows standing in a wide, green field eating hay. The first cow says: "Moo". The second cows says: "Thats funny, I was about to say that."

My grandma told me to always keep my head up and just keep going. She fell down a manhole last week and died.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, This joke is stupid, Chuck Testa.

Haikus are easy But they don't always make sense. Refrigerator.

A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

I had 99 problems Solved them all

Why don't Vikings read the New York Times? Because they all died centuries ago. And none of them live in New York.

What's the best thing about the Pixies? Their music.

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

my friend got in a car wreck,he lost his left arm and left leg. how is he now? Hes all right.

Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

2 doctors are talking to each other: -Dead? -Dead.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're adopted.

whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a red corvette? i don't have a red corvette in my garage

What did the man say to the young, blond athletic girl walking by? "Hi."

A cat starts grooming itself How many sprinkles does it take to cover the moon Cabinet because whales live in water

so you're waling through the desert and a tire falls off your canoe. How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse?

My zombie busting team: Tank: The Terminator Mechanic: Tony Stark Demolitions: Superman Medic: Gandalf Bait: Justin Bieber

Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! That's a rather strange psychological problem I think you should consult a professional psychologist rather than see me.

What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry made it out the chamber.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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