What did the little boy get on christmas morning? Cancer.

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You are so down to earth, and never confuse that with "simple minded".

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What's long, hard and full of seamen? A submarine.

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penis. nuff said.

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What can little Billy play? The tumour, sorry I meant what will little Billy die from.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. Open up. We have a warrant for your arrest.

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There was an elephant , a bird, a man, a tree, a cat, a dog, a lion, a horse, a cow, a pig, a duck, a lemon, a turnip, an apple, a rabbit, a slice of pizza and a spoon. I just wasted around 8 seconds of your life

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Thats malarious! When something is so funny that... malaria

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Why is 6 afraid of 7.? Well 7 has suffered a tramatic brain injury, and has a tendancy to brutally attack anyone he comes in contact with. The whole situation is unfortunate.

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I am so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed.

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What's more sad then a dumpster full of dead babies? The live one at the bottom.

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What is big, grey, has 8 wheels, can fly, swim and walk. I dunno. Thats why I'm asking

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Found out the difference between onions and men. I don't cry when I'm chopping up men.

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why did the computer monitor stop working? Becasue it has a date with a slice of cheese.

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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What did the barber say to Chewbacca? DAAAAAAYYYYUUUUMMMM!!!

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What does Obama, the President of the United States of America see when he closes his eyes? His eyelids

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why did the turtle beat the rabbit ? because the rabbit eventually got shot

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what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

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why couldnt jimmys feet touch the ground? he was hanging.

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I've never seen a zebra use that crossing.

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Knock knock... Knock knock... Knock knock... Unfortunately, nobody was home to sign for Marks parcel.

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Q. What is the worlds biggest lie A. I have read and agree to the terms of service ?

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your momma's so ugly that she currently deals with an overwhelmingly self consciousness view of her appearance to the point where she has contemplated suicide and it is in your best interest to seek her medical help in order to preserve her heath and overall well being.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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