Why was the dog sweating? It was locked in a car on a hot day.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did the chicken cross the road? - To rape you. Knock Knock. Who's there? The Chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A man asks a young woman at a party if a rag smells like chloroform. She doesn't respond because she's passed out. He takes her to a nearby bedroom, rapes her, and leaves the party promptly. He'll probably victimize many other women with this method.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

There is a young boy called Clive, and his dad asks him what he wants for his birthday: "I would like one yellow golf ball please dad" he said. Of course, his father was quite surprised by his son's request, but nevertheless, he got him a yellow golf ball for his birthday. A few years later, clive does amazingly well at school and gets all As in his final exams. Filled with pride and love for his son, his father says to him: "I can't begin to tell you how proud i am of you, Clive. In fact, you can have a preasant! What do you want?" Clive thinks for a moment. "i would like one hundred yellow golf balls please!" His father was a bit annoyed at his strange request, but neverrtheless, gave Clive his yellow golf balls. A few years later, Clive wins the gold medal at the olymics for the 100m sprint. His father is very proud: "Son, i am so happy about the way you've turned out. You make me so proud. Is there anything you want me to do for you?" "can i have 1000 yellow golf balls please" Now his father got annoyed, he thought Clive was taking the piss. Eventually though, he calmed down and got clove the golf balls. Unfortunatley, Clive gets diagnosed with a deadly disease. His father is heartbroken. And as clive is lying on the hospital bed, his father moves close and speaks to him. "Son" he said, tears welling up in his eyes, "I just want to ask you one thing." "Ok," Clive said, as he too started to get emotional. "Why on earth did you want all those golf balls?" Clive looked deep into his father's eyes, as he took his last breath said: "I wanted them because- ack -splutter- ack" And he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Yo momma is so stupid, she has no job, five kids, and six weeks to live, due to the fact she spent all her money on cigarettes and now has lung cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

what did the farmer do? plant

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What word starts with "f" and ends with "uck"? Firetruck!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What the person say to the other Person? Hi.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Q: what happens when Justin Bieber walks into bar? A: three things, blood on the bar floor, another vister at the celebrity hospital, and Justin Bieber with knifes and darts stuck in his chest!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did the guy in the wheelchair die? He was mauled by tigers.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

this is stupid .... yep

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What did the black guy say to the white guy? The black guy said, "hello". They then proceeded to have a normal conversation.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A woman was struck and killed by a truck as she crossed the road. Who's fault is it? The woman's, if she hadn't left the kitchen, she would still be making me sandwitches...

thumb_up thumb_down -31

how many dumbasses does it take to make a kushagra

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What does Chuck Norris order at a coffee shop? Coffee.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead...

thumb_up thumb_down -33

How much do polar bears weigh? Between 800 and 1600 pounds

thumb_up thumb_down -33

COME HERE, POTTER!!!! NOW!!! Instead of agreeing to approach the source of the rather hostile summoning, Potter decided to sit down and eat a healthy vegetarian lunch of sausages and chips.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Whats sad about a black man killing himself? That shaft DVD that he rented will probably be late now.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 24

thumb_up thumb_down -33

KKK: Hey i was just comming over here to invite you to a church gathering me and my buddies are having later on tonight, and afterwards we are going to have a big bon-fire to fire up our spirits. Black guy: OK sounds great. White people sure are nice now-a-days.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Q: How many Jews can fit in a car? A: 5 in a standard mid sized sedan, or 7 in an SUV

thumb_up thumb_down -33

what is purple and fly? - a purple flying.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Oh, no! There is a ginger jew within 2 meters of me!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops