Knock knock whos there? Its me, your doorbell is obviously broken Okay, hold on a sec. Please hurry up, its really cold I cant seem to find my key Its probably on the coffeetable, where you always keep it. No, its not there Check the floor underneith Oh, right, there it is.

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I'm a poet and I just didn't realise

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One day, a Hippo was riding a scooter and an ant was sitting on the back seat. Suddenly they meet with an accident. They both fall from the scooter on their heads but only the hippo gets hurt. How??? Because the ant was wearing a helmet.

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What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

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What happened when they asked Steve if he was feeling blue? He confessed and went to prison for a long time for molesting that poor dog.

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Your momma is so old, it is likely that she will pass away in the near future, and I would recommend you to spend some quality time with her.

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Two eggs are in a frying pan. One egg says to the other, "Gee, it's getting hot in here!" The other one says, "Shit, a talking egg!!"

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What's the last thing to go through a flys head when it hits your windshield? Its ass.

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Why was the black man afraid of leaving his house? Because he has severe agoraphobia and cannot function normally in society.

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3 black guys walk into a restaurant and they sat down, ate their meals, and even tipped the waitor handsomely then for about 10 minutes they talk and then leave restaurant. Soon after a white guy comes and holds up the place for all it's money then killing three hostages before being taken down by the police.

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A man noticed that the sun was coming in brightly through his window. He was trying to take a nap and didnt appreciate the sunlight. He closed the blinds.

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josh is a skinny headed keppy mong

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Eh yo Sean u mr. Kingston Hey, how are you doing?

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Who has two thumbs and is happy? This girl! You're a girl?

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Crime doesn't pay. Sure it does

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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life is like a box of chocolates... it doesnt last long for fat peopl

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Its Erron, listen, we got to talk, I do not mind your pictures, but I am not going to call you because of that weird spot on your face, its just 101 basics here, I suggest you shut down the access to this site to the rest of your employees, this might get very personal.

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How did the young boy cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.

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Why was the baker rich? Because he had a lot of money

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Why did the boy cry when he sat on Santa's lap? Because Santa's boner reminded him of his pedophiliac step-father.

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why did the little boy fall over? he was hit in the face by a salmon.

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What's worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm. Being raped. What's worse than being raped. Being raped twice. What's worse than being raped twice. Biting into your apple and finding a worm then throwing away that apple, retrieving another apple them biting into it and finding another worm then being raped twice. In the same 5 minutes.

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A man walks into a bar in the morning. He is the bartender, and he works there.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops