why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't he got ran over half way.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic and so am I

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Knock Kock Who's there Boo Boo Who? Boo Radley is a fictional character in the novel To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee. Don't cry.

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Guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. He goes to the restroom and urinates. He comes back and orders another drink. He goes to the restroom again and urinates. He comes back and orders another drink. Guess what happens next? A. He goes to the restroom to urinate B. He buys another drink C. He flirts with a very attractive lady D. Goes home and masturbates

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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A priest, a jew, and a pirate walk into a bar. An exchange of dialogue occurs with the bartender and hilarity ensues.

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What's more fun than nailing a baby to a wall? Pulling it off.

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Your Face... It's Beautiful.

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Why did Elmo get depressed? All his friends sacrifised themselves to satan

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What did the black boy get for Christmas? Black people don't celebrate Christmas.

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What did the guy say before he learned how to Dougie? Teach me how to Dougie

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Yo mama is so fat , she died of a heart condition

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Q: you know whats a good movie? A: twilight.

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What is yellow and smells like a flower? A yellow flower :)

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has Stevie Wonder.

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A man walks into a bar. It was his push-up bar that he didn't install high enough. He bumps his head and it hurts.

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how many pancakes does it take to build a dog house? none boats don't have wheels.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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You know what I am gonna come up with that could potentially make me millions of dollars? An idea that could potentially make me millions of dollars.

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Why did I deleted brian from my friend list ? Cuz he had brain tumor.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. They are baked until ready and then enjoyed be the person who made them.

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hey girl, My Gyarados is BIG enough for you to ride it ALL day and night

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What do you call a fish with 6 legs? A fish with 6 legs.

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Why couldn't the Asian man speak in chinese? He never learned chinese

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops