what can you blow up and sleep with at night? An air mattress

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Did you hear about the young couple that confused K-Y jelly with window caulking? All their windows fell out.

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Did you know that Obama wasn't born in the United States*? *the contiguous United States

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Roses are red, Facebook is blue, we have mutual friends, and violets are blue and roses are red. FRIDGE

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To be, or not to be. That is not the question. The question is, what time is it?

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What did the dad say when the irresponsible goth problem child asked for a gun Yes

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Two Mice are sitting on a bridge , one falls down an the other is named Charlotte

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Four gay men go to a bar and enjoy a drink celebrating their long lived platonic relationship.

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How do you survive the end of the world? You can't- everyone will die!

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Knock Knock Who's there? It is actually not a good idea to say "who's there" to the random person outside. The man could be a robber or a murderer, and will realize a person is inside. He could bomb the door down and do anything to kill you. You should look through the window first, or through the little peep hole. If the person outside is an acquaintance, then you can respond. However it is best to not reply and leave the stranger alone. Safety is key to living a happy joyful life.

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How do you make money? Kill babies and sell them.

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How do you make a sandwich? Go into the kitchen and make a sandwich.

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Actually it was me Josh brown

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What did one teacher say to the other teacher? We're both under-payed.

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Why did the bugger cross the rode? He was tired of getting picked on

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What did lil' Suzy do when she got home from school? She was violently mutilated by a bear then continually but raped by a man she met on the Internet. Needless to say, she had a great time. -Harrison

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Haiku's aren't real poems. No body understands them. My soul is burned toast.

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How did the chicken cross the road? Suicide. There was a graveyard across the street. RIP Mr. Chicken.

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what do you call a room with no people in it? empty What do you call a room with over 9000 people in it? a fire hazard

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What do you get when you cross a man, with Alzheimers disease?

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Why was Osama Bin Laden so hard to find? His hiding place was difficult to come across.

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Why was the man shot in the head twice? He wasn't because he died after the first and it is nearly impossible to survive a gunshot to the head.

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roses are red vilest are blue shes mine and if you take my place my fist will go in your face

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You know what's natural? Bears.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops