im not black, im Joseph Kony

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A man walks into a bar at 1 in the afternoon. He's the bartender and a fellow employee asked him to cover the afternoon shift.

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If I have 12 backpacks and Jimmy has 91 pancakes, then how many marshmallows can cover the roof of this building? Purple. Because Aliens don't wear hats.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a bus on the way over.

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What did the raped girl say to the doctor? Nothing she was dead on arrival.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What do you call your mom? Mom

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What's brown and adhesive? A stick

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so a boy walks into a bar he was underage and escorted out.

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Two guys are walking on a bridge. One has long hair. The other does not care.

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What is a dog's favorite color? Dogs are colorblind and can not see colors.

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Q:Why did the little girl fall out of the swing? A:Because she had no arms.

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Why did the little girl drop her balloon? Because she was getting raped in the face.

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What do you get when you cross a RPG with a cell phone? A microwave

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A.Because that's where it wanted to go.

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What did Batman tell Robin before he got into the Batmobile? "Hey Robin, get in the Batmobile."

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I wife my butt after I poop. I poop out of my penis.

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what do you call a woman with cancer wearing a wedding dress? a shouttellcock

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Two clowns are walking down the street The first says, "Whats better sunshine or rainbows?" The second says nothing, then casually picks up a brick and beats the other clown to death.

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what did the man say to the person he hates? nothing!

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what do you call a mexican whos lost his car? nothing, nick ate him

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Why did the black man steal the mountain bike? He didn't. He purchased and payed for the mountain bike.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He simply lost grip of the cone and it fell out of his hand

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A black kid, a white kid, an Asian, and a Dane all take acid in a room. They have a profound experience and find a greater meaning in life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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