Want to hear a joke You're Adopted

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What did the guy say to the girl when he was holding a tool? You're a tool????

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what has 911 got in commen with most bank robberies? all r inside jobs

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? A teenage girl was texting and driving, didn't see it, and now it's roadkill.

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I've got a dig bick. You that read wrong. You also read the second sentence wrong.

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What did tyler say to Jake? My pussy is wet jew

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Why did little Suzie spill her drink? Since birth she has lacked a jaw

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If a blonde and a brunette are both falling out of a building, which one will hit the ground first? The brunette, she jumped first.

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what do you call a black who stabbed your entire family? it all depends on what his name happens to be

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Q: How many Marys does it take to drive you crazy? A: Just one ::stares at Mary Annoyingly::

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like funny jokes but I tend to ruin the punchline by just talking too much and that's probably why no one likes me and...

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Roses are red, violets are blue, why am i even talking to you?

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Yo momma's so stupid she comes up in a lot of jokes titled "yo momma jokes"

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What are the similarities between aaron ash and a cow? they both have 7 stomachs.

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why are anti-jokes so funny? they aren't. they're stupid.

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Whats the difference between platinum blondes? Absolutley nothing they all look exactly the same.

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How do you stop a bus from hitting you?? You throw small children to impede the progress of the bus.

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how do you know if your pleasuring a woman? who cares

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i like men but im not gay

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twenty three roaches walk into a bar. the bar is evacuated due to insects.

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But I like being mean and angry! Nevermind, 158 according to Mensa`s standard bullshit test (my wife got 160, I remember we argued a lot over it because I kept insisting they would not use the same predictable pattern again... I overestimated them wildly I can make more advanced stuff than they can, and in no way do I consider myself "The worlds elite required to ensue the future survival and salvation of mankind`s finest and fittest" those fucking arrogant suckers,,,) Below average in any test including American presidents and historical events. Aaand about 450 in any bullshit online test which then offers you "more accurate tests" which cost money and probably destroys the fake confidence any idiot buying such a test in the first place might have built up,

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What happens when a girl sticks her head in a birthday cake? She gets a toothpick stuck in her eyebrow. Trust me..I know.

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your mommas so fat she has been advised to diet and excercise or run the risk of terminal illness

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A priest and a rabbi walks into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says "is this some kind of joke?".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops