How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete jumped out, who was left? Pete, the boat blew up and instantly killed repeat

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What do you call a man running around town with no clothes on? Naked.

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Your mom is so fat that she has to wear larger clothes than the average person.

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? well if 7 8 9 then what happened to the rest?

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What's worse then having your wife leaving you? Taking the kids with her.

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What do you call a Mexican kicking a ball? A soccer player

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Why are large breasts so awesome? Cleavage is sexually attractive to both men and women

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whats hairy and crys your mom

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Harry Potter: Hey voldemort, you wanna go get our noses pierced?? Voldemort: I killed your parents.

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Whats fat and gay joe diragi

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Why is the alien dead as a door-nail? Because the door-nail was never alive nor could it ever be dead therefore the alien must have never existed just like the life and death of the door-nail.

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what did the lesbian do with the other lesbian? played badminton

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Why couldn't Danny learn the alphabet? Because a man of forty was staring at him in a very peculiar way and Danny found it very difficult to concentrate.

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roses are red violets are blue the thing in the toilet reminds me of you :)

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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Microwave

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Guy: I have a gun get in my van Girl: SHOTGUN!

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Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? A: Being caught by the store manager, arrested, convicted, and thrown into jail for petty theft and then getting ass-raped for the next 3 months all because you wanted to check an apple without paying for it.

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GIRL: Honey, for a holiday we should go someplace nice BOY: How will that work, none of us speak Mexican...

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Q: What's black, long, and floppy? A: Black Licorice

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What did one salt shaker say to the other salt shaker? Nothing, Salt shakers are merely used to add flavor to foods.

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What happened when the boy fell off of the bridge? He died

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An old man walks into a bar. He suffered greater injury than a younger man due to his advanced age and deteriorating health. But he did eventually recover by strictly adhering to his doctor's advice of bed rest, improved diet, and increased, yet moderate, aerobic exercise.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops