How does a man with no legs cross a road? In his wheelchair.

A blond, burnette, and red head walk into a bar. They sit together and enjoy a few drinks while catching up on eachother's lives.

It's so hot even chuck noris can't withstand this shit.

What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

What did the horse say to the other horse? We are both horses

ask me what my temperpedic bed is like. ''whats it like?'' i dont know ive never had one actully.

A paraplegic women falls off a boat. Regardless of the fact that she was wearing a properly inflated flotation device, she still managed to drown. She died instantly, the next day.

Q:Where did sally go when the bomb went off? A: Everywhere.

Why did the blonde woman decide to get plastic surgery? Because she was self-conscious and unhappy with the way she looked.

Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He was butchered on the farm for chicken fingers.

What do you do when life gives you lemons? Kindly reject the offer and give it back to life.

Whats hard and long and used to penetrate women? A hypodermic needle.

Nero, sure you are okay?

How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? most likely one unless there is physical disability that makes this person incapable of this action

Thats so awesome, I was totally not not going to tell you and when I saw I did not not type it I totally did it anyways, but why did it last even though stuff timed out? I am like so wet.

why does pink turn into blue it doesnt you just get hit by a frigde because you cried whe you got shot several times

Why did the chicken cross the road? To save his soon to be butchered family.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He did it for fitness.

Q: Why did the man die of starvation??? A: He didn't eat for 3 days!!

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Someone threw a fridge at her

What's the difference between a Lamborgini and 100 dead babies? I don't have a Lambo in my garage.

What do you tell your friend who has been cheating on his wife? You're a terrible human being, and she deserves better!

WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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