What is brown and woody? Brown wood.

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Three men walk into a bar and suffer permanent brain damage

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Two peanuts were walking down the street, one was assaulted, the other was brutally raped.

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Have you heard the one of the two headed man an the horse? Neither have I

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Sorry babe, even if I was I would not tell you, the entire place is surrounded, but within enough of a distance, so we will plant a nice setup around the green shack so everyone assumes his deal was some solo operation, if someone else is heading at his direction now, you are gonna get busted, so you better stay down.

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Why can't Hellen Keller watch Spongebob? She doesn't have the proper cable service

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What do you call it when a blonde jumps off the Empire State Building without a parachute? Suicide.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for his birthday? A bike

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What's worse than spending time with Inlaws? Spending time with outlaws.

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What did the Doctor say to the patient. You have AIDS The patient took out a machete and stabbed the Doctor. The Doctor died. Two weeks later, the patient died of AIDS.

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What's the color of the sky when an airplane takes off? Blue. What are you, stupid?

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Nock Nock Whose there? Your mom. Stop locking your door.

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Why did the man cross the street? Because he had to go work.

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Knock Knock Who's There Lettuce Lettuce who? Lettuce down the street building his new garage

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Tyrone is innocent! I can't wait until Kirsty gets hers!

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What is a pedophile's favorite thing about twenty-six year olds? There are 20 of them.

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Q: How do you kill a goblin if the fries are next to the sushi? A: Yes. Walruses have nostrils and rubber chickens don't like microwaves!

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How do you turn that frown upside down? You move many muscles in your face.

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Why did the African cross the road? Because he was searching for his family after his village was massacred by rebel soldiers.

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What do you call five black me pushing a car? "Very nice young men who helped me when I broke down," according to my grandmother.

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View Terms of Service

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What do you call a blue horse with two legs and five eyes? A blue horse with two legs and five eyes.

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If life gives you melons, you have dyslexia.

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Touch it gently, put two fingers inside, if it's wide use three fingers, make sure it's wet and rub up and down. Yep that's how you wash a cup.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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