What did the crazy asian man say just before he died? He didn't say anything- he was in an 18 month long coma due to a brain stem stroke. He left behind a wife, a 3 year old daughter and a newborn son.

What is x + 12 That is impossible because you can't add letters

Roses are red, Violets are blue, these two statement are obvious unless you are color blind

My grandfather slipped on a banana peel. I helped him up.

What goes up and down but never physically moves? My grade.

A black man a mexican and a caucasian were walking together. The black man and the mexican walked into a bar. The caucasian ducked. Not because his race makes him smarter in anyway, but because his friends shouted out a warning to him. All three then proceeded to the nearest pub.

Neronism is based on the belief that respect and love for one self and ones opinions, combined with respect and love for the opinions of those which follow the same concepts, is the right thing to do. Now behold what religion has done, it spreads fear and poverty, demands the submission of free will and belief in oneself, which again leads to pedophilia, abuse and discrimination of women, abuse and hate, which breeds life to wars agony, suffering poverty and disease in the name of what defines love these days for some "might exist and be jealous and cruel God which loves you so much, that he gives you the option behind serving him or endless suffering..." Not to mention, this fear of eternal torment, being passed on for generation to generation, creating endless wars since the dawn of mankind. Know that we do consider outsiders inferior, but we do not hate you, we pity you, we will not make you suffer, as you due to your path, suffer enough already. Now ask yourself, if we are what you could say those that represent anti-religion, as we go on knowing this, we can not only do better than religion... ...But the hell if we can do worse! Moral: "We will not walk with pride into the light, we will not go into war against those we disagree with, instead we walk in the dark with humility and listen to our hearts and the one of others in order to find our definition of love and kindness... ...Otherwise Neronism would just be yet another fucking religion, and there is enough of that in this world already. If you listen then you know who I am in spirit, if not then you might have learned something new.

Why did the housewife become a farmer? Because the kitchen was burned down in a horrific accident.

What's the difference between a 7 year old boy and a 50 year old man? Hair.

Several of our "name brothers" have been attacked threatened and questioned almost every night since when we last talked on the phone, it turns out that these people are not after me. But after you, they have no idea that I retired years ago, and while their information is limited, you got yourself someone that is selling information on the deep web intentionally, as far as we know he might be selling you out piece by piece, and as of this point, you might be in dire danger.

What did the bus say to the short bus? Heh, you're retarded..

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

Yo mama got so bad teeth her dentist said she should get them surgicly removed and get lifelike dentures

What did the man say when an pterodactyl flew into the kitchen while he was having breakfast? Huh, that's strange.

Whats green and can kill you when it falls from a tree? a pool table

How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb...1 How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb...2

Q. Why is Obama stupid? A. That's an opinion, therefore i cannot answer that.

What do a Nazi and a Democrat have in common? They are both members of a highly supported political faction.

What do you call a rabbit with carrots in its ears? Anything, it can't hear you!

Brenda said she found a pill to stop the effects of aging! It was a cyanide pill, Brenda is dead.

Q:Whats worse than a dead baby in a barrel? A: 8 dead babies in a barrel. Q: Whats worse than that? A: A dead baby in 8 barrels.

whats black and large -me

why was the frog sad..... because it was stappled to the boys face

Why did the chicken fall down? Because it wanted to have fun

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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