How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie roll pop? It would have to take a reasonable amount of licks for enough enzymes in the saliva to breakdown the hard candy part.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you do when your condom breaks during sexual intercourse? Get AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what did the girl say after her boyfriend proposed? she said no because they've still got a lot of stuff to deal with before they even consider getting married and he seriously needs to get a job and dump his other girlfriend.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's green and blue? yellow

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the smoker die at a petrol station? He had lung cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walks into a bar,gets a drink, and then leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red Violets are blue I have ADD Hey look, a squirrel!!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Superman wears chuck Norris pajamas Just kidding superman is a fictional character and is uncapable Of owning pajamas

thumb_up thumb_down +13

David entered a radio contest to see who had the best pun; his pun was insufficient and he did not win.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: What lives in holes? A: Jerks.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the teacher say to the other teacher? We are both teachers. -Del Primm

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's black and white and red all over? A penguin after being attacked by a man with a mace.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the courageous young boy always follow his dreams? His IQ sucked.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Johnny has 32 cookies. He eats 28 of them. What does he have now? Diabetes, Johnny has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's red and bad for you teeth. A brick

thumb_up thumb_down +13

whats got two legs and cant walk a paraplegic

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Cornelius went to the dcotor and got a sticker and a lollipop for being a good patient. He later went home and shoved the lollipop stick up his dick hole and started wildly masturbating. I forgot to mention Cornelius was 42 years old.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the Buddhist monk say to the hot dog vendor? Monks do not speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Little Susie fell of the swings. Where did she go? On the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

whats worse than having ants in your pants? getting sotomized by a lightsaber

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the cookie monster eat? Food

thumb_up thumb_down +13

a boy scout wipes his butt with a dollar cause he had no toilet paper then the other boy scout hears him screaming they meet up later and the other boy scout askes why he was scream and the first boy scout says that is hard to wip your butt with 4 quarters.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops