If a llama walks into a jewelry store and a carrot has no feathers, then why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got hit by a car because chickens are simple creatures and don't understand the complex rules of the road.

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What is dull and has no point? A pencil without its point

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What did the pear say to the apple? Fred, you delusions are getting worse and i'm getting a divorce.

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Whats blue and flufft Answer: Blue Fluff

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She was so hot every guy instantly jizzed upon seeing her. Even seeing her fingernails gave boners to thousands of people. Poor thing never had sex, no one could hold it in until they started. Maybe only Chuck Norris.

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Q: Whats funny about the Holocaust A: Nothing

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how do you make a homosexual man have sex with a woman? shit in her vagina

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how do you get a scouters power level to 9,000? power levels dont exist in real life therefore cannot reach 9,000

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Corvette? What? I don't have a Corvette in my garage Wanna hear something gross? Sure. 1 at the bottom is still alive. Wanna hear something grosser? Yea. It's eating its way out

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Yeah sure, you have "absolutely... ...No... ...Reason..." to... Fucking... use... This... place... at... all... But you seem to be here all the fucking time, what fucking sense does that make? That is not the matter at all fagface! Your fucking goons assaulting me because "I stole one of your aliases?" I was born Nero and will die fucking Nero, not Nerometal, not Nero of Neronism, just Nero your friendly rapist! Yeah Ill give you my fucking social info, so you... and... your... excessive... use... of... this shit... can... send... your ...fucking assholes to finish the job! Listen bitch! I am a writer! And your faggots stabbed off like half of my eyeball! I don't give a damn about this site, I want your fucking assholes to stop seeking me out in person! Hell, give me your social info, so we can "make a fucking settlement" Where I break off your head and shit down your neck!

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Why do the children cry at dinner time? Becuase there mother forces them to eat her own faeces and takes pictures of them doing it and posts it on the internet.

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A bishop died and went to heaven. At the Pearly gates he sees Saint Peter , so he says to Peter "All my life I've been a committed Christian, but I just before I died I was tempted by a woman of ill repute". Saint Peter says "This is just an illusion, your dying brain is merely conjuring up images based on your presuppositions of an 'afterlife'. You have about three seconds left"

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Hello, this is Chuck Norris speaking.

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Your moms so stupid that she called me to get my number

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There's a black guy in a house. What's he doing there? He owns it.

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Roses are blue Violets are red Is that really What I just said?

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WHATS FASTER THAN INTERNET BUSTA RYMES

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Where does a king keep his armies? In his sleevies

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what did the man say to his wife? I love you

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What do you call your mother's bipolar brother with three arms? Uncle.

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Which does does the Mississippi River flow in? Liquid.

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your mom is so fat, she uses nutrisystem and other weight-loss systems to try to loose weight.

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A duck walks into a bar "Can I have some brandy, please" says the duck The bartender then proceeds to make millions because he was the first to discover a talking duck

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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