How many bears does it take to screw in a light bulb? None; it’s a fairly menial task requiring little more than a single human hand. Requisitioning any number of bears for the effort would be an extremely dangerous “Rube Goldberg”-esque solution to simple problem.

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what does lady gaga have that some people dont have? a penis.

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: A sad, unfortunate dog.

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Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet eating her curds and way, along came a spider who sat there beside her and asked, "Hey bitch what's in the bowl?"

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Theres this black guy who goes to a gun shop and buys a .45 and then goes to get a permit and uses it responsibly....

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why did the giraffe cross the road? because my dad and his "fishing buddies" are having another "meeting" in the basement. I hear weird noises, and I haven't seen my little sister in weeks, since the last "meeting." Dad said she went to a special camp for little girls. I hear horrible noises.

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Your mum's so fat that she's incredibly lucky she has a loving and supportive husband who values her personality over her appearance.

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Who are the faster readers? New Yorkers, they through 110 stories in 5 seconds

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A paraplegic wheels himself into a bar. The barman asks, 'What can I get you?' 'Nothing,' replies the paraplegic, 'I've just pissed myself and I need you to help me clean myself up.'

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What's Mackaulay Culkin's favorite salad dressing? Neverland Ranch.

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Why did the long term smoker suddenly stop smoking? Because he had a heart attack.

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Horse.

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What's funnier than a pile of dead babies? A pile of dead babies with a live one crawling out.

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How do you kill a baby swinging on a rope attached to a pole at 40 miles an hour? Hit it with a shovel.

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Bin laden walks into a bar oh wait he's dead.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? It escaped the zoo.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It's really irrelevant when you realize this joke is about a suicidal chicken...

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident, you're entire family is dead.

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Why did the camel climb Mount Everest? Actually, he wasn't a camel, he was a very experienced mountain climber. In any case no one really knows why he did it.

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Why is it bad to smoke in a public place? Because secondhand smoke may cause lung cancer.

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copy me and i will kill you

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt it got hit by a truck before it got to the other side.

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??????????? ??????????????? "Hello, idiot teacher! You eat milk."

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who's a slut... you're mom

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops