How long does it take to microwave a baby? I don't know, I was to busy masterbating. GBW

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What do you call people in a plane crash? Whatever, i wasn't on the plane.

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Ask me if I'mm a candy cane. Shutup, there are a lot of these types of jokes. Create your own you poophead.

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What do you call a cow with no legs. Dead, the farmer cut them off.

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What is spiky and opens up wide? The Mouth…what were you thinking you perv?

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What did the 20-year old woman say too the old man? HI GRANDPA!

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What did the blind man say to the fish store owner? I would, 1 fish please.

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Someone offers your friend one of two things he say's "choose witch one you want" your friends asks you and you say "if i were you, i'd be ugly"

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How about that airline food?

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What is white and hard to catch? A refrigerator

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A guy with a severe attention deficit walks into a bar and... oh, look, the sky is pretty... wait, what was I saying ?

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what do hookers and bungee jumping have in common? They are both 100$ to be in/on and if the rubber breaks your screwed

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Phew, I was like thinking all like "I am really into this guy, we can like chat like this and stuff too right?"

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An indian boy asked his Dad,'Why do we have such long names?' His father didn't reply, he died on the road home.

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Two penguins walk are in the bathtub and says "can you pass me the soap?" the other one looks at him quite quarly and says "what do you think i am, a chainsaw?!?"

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? A fat kid sitting on you

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Why did the Football Coach go to the Bank?? To Cash his Paycheck.

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everyone dislike the first joke on page one

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because I pushed him.

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Turkeys are obese

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What's the difference between sand and menstral blood? I can't gargle sand

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got Alzheimer's, Who are you?

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Did you hear about that guy? He had a wonderful morning.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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