Where was the declaration of independes? At the bottom

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What do you call kids born in whorehouses? Poor, poor children.

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Q: what did one guy say to another guy? A: I don't know!

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How does a Chinese person wear a contact lens? On a 45 degree angle

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I wouldn't consider the Titanic sinking to be a disaster, ????It is better down where it is wetter under the sea! ????.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it was diagnosed with cancer and didn't want to live any more

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An asian and a black guy walked into a bar. An ambulance rushed to their aid as they were in great pain and had a slight chance of becoming paraplegic.

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Why was six afraid of seven. It wasnt because numbers cant possible show emotions. I

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What did Santa say when he came to drop off your toys? Nothing. Santa doesn't exist.

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What can I say, besides, the media is fighting one another now, people do have more freedom, religion is losing the grip on people, and yeah the world may be a bit grim right now, but people have chosen their own direction in life, and that is going wherever the most corrupt ones in society tell them to. And that was never different, I am not saying that you are not doing a good job, I am saying that the underground society failed, we where idealists, then we where branded criminals, without a shred of proof, I have not lost myself, and you have not lost you, why save the rest from what they enjoy?

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What did the pretty young girl get for her birthday? Cake and presents (get your mind out of the gutter).

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whats black and white and red all over? this joke.

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What sucks more than being married? Being shot in both kneecaps

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How do you make a plumber sad? You murder his family.

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A black person went into a store and paid full price for his tv

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a brand new Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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How do you fit 100 dead babies in a box? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla Chips. hehehehehehe

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What do gay kittens eat? Cat food. Friskies and Fancy Feast are both popular brands.

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What would you call the baby of an elephant and a rhinoceros? Nothing. They are two entirely different species and therefore cannot breed.

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How do you stay out of Heaven? you stay alive.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? Well... I can't tell you. It's inapropriate.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Why did Lisa fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. *Knock knock! Who's there? *Definitely not Lisa.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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