What did the horse say to it's owner? It didn't horses can't talk

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Knock knock Who's there? The Land Lord The Land Lord who? I am here to evict you.

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whats funny? this joke. just kidding. your face.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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How else can an Asian wear a contact lens? Too bad for them. They can;t sucks for them. Asians with small eyes EXCEPT FOR INDIANS look ugly

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When life gives you lemons you have lemons.

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Why are Asian people bad drivers? Coincidental cases of blurred vision.

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I don't know about the rest of you, but I HATE funerals.

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Your gay

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A wife says to her husband "Everybody's coming over tonight, I want you to dress nice." *logically this cannot happen because there is no way that this couples residence can fit all 6 or so billion people in the world, nor would they want to.

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A Jew walks into a bar, he buys it.

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laughter is the best medicine, unless you have cancer, then you will die.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

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what do you call a blonde who can't drive? a poor driver

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Why did i write an antijoke? Because i can't write real jokes.

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They didn't stop pulling my hair i didn't stop pulling the trigger

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Why do giraffes have long necks? To connect their bodies to their heads.

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Why did the boy drop his peanuts and crackerjacks? He had a sudden heart attack and died at the age of 10

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Knock knock. Knock knock. Knock knock. I'm hammering nails. Knock knock.

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Why did the boy fall off the purple cliff? Because someone cut of his legs and arms and threw him off.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 went to a house party. 7 was there. 7 and 6 kind of new each other. They went to the same school, but weren`t really friends. All night 7 was giving 6 strange looks. 6 started feeling uneasy, so he left the party early. When 6 got in his car 7 was inside waiting for him and pulled out a gun. Luckily 6 got away from 7 safely, but has been scared of him ever since.

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what happened to the man who is standing in the rain? he got wet

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You know you're dyslexic when life gives you melons.

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Helen Keller went to town, riding on a pony, stuck a feather in her hat and called it "NUuhHUhhuUUUuhhhuuuuumph!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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