What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

If somebody stabs you in the forehead, you are likely to get injured.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Whats a dogs favorite thing to eat? Food.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

In Soviet Russia my freedoms are severally restricted by communism.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Roses are red Violets are blue... Violets are not blue they are actually purple

thumb_up thumb_down +23

roses are red violets are blue sunflowers are yellow I bet you were expecting something romantic but this is just gardening facts

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Friends are like balloons When you stab them they die.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A man told his daughter not to give his dog coffee. His daughter turned and told him that she was his nurse and his alzheimers is getting worse.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Three men are sitting in a tub. One of them says "Toss me the soap." The second one says "Toss me the shampoo." The third one says "Toss me the toaster."

thumb_up thumb_down +23

why was the little boy sad? he had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: What do you call Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. A: two things: Their names, and a doctor because they are both in need of a nutritionist.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q. Whats does the kid and the dog have in common? A. The kid has Herpes.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the wife get her husband after he became a paraplegic in a car accident? Divorce papers.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A man in a wheelchair walked into a bar. No he didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: How fast does an F-16 fly? A: Pretty Fast

thumb_up thumb_down +21

a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: How many Babies does it take to paint a garage? A: babies do not have good motor skills therefore, they can not hold a paint brush.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and the holocaust? A pile of dead babies isn't funny

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: what did the grandmother give to her grandson. A: a lightbulb

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the Muslim say to the Jew? Nothing, as he has been deaf since birth and is incapable of forming coherent speech.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did Stevie Wonders wife do when they got into fights? Re-Arrange the furniture

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: How do you starve a Black family? A: By not giving any Food.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops