An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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What do a mole and an eagle have in common? They both live underground apart from the eagle.

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A Fairly ghetto African-American male and a Korean Merchant pass each other on the streets of L.A. two weeks after the Rodney King riots, what happens? The merchant nods his head to say hello to the African-American and the African-American male does the same and they both live out sucessful lives. By the way the African-American just got accepted to Harvard on a scholarship program.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud.

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Whats a joke with no meaning? This one

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Two guys are walking on a bridge. One has long hair. The other does not care.

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What's the difference between a bag full of dead babies and a ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

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Two men are walking along the Great Wall of China. "Do you know how many years it took to build this?" one man asked. "Yes," the other replied. "Me too."

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Why did the boy throw the clock out of the window? Because it was broken.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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what do you give a little girl with no arms no legs and who lives in a orfanidge for christmas?.................................... nothing because no parent wants a freak kid

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What did the black man do to the white woman? I Dont KNow ask him

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Two guys walk into a bar. But the third one was a duck.

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What happenswhen a geman shepard jumps into a lake? it gets wet

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A chink walks into a bar. She is spotted by the secret police and instantly deported. Vote UKIP

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What is green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? An elephant I lied!

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Q:why did the guy go to the doctor? A:I dunno, he must have gone for a good reason

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what do you call a woman with cancer wearing a wedding dress? a shouttellcock

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing

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there was a little girl walking through a park. then she was kidnapped and most likely raped and sold to a foreign country.

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Q: A woman is hit by a motorcycle. Whos fault was it the motorcyclist's or the woman's? A: It was the motorcyclist's fault. He shouldn't of been riding his mortorcycle in the kitchen while she was making my sandwich.

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What did Big Dog say to Little Dog? "We are both dogs."

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I hate it when I press submit, and I forgot to finish the jo

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I took my blind grandmother to the art gallary

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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