What did the rake say to the shovel? Nothing, they're both inanimate objects.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The first line is spelled wrong, Ha, I tricked you

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What did the banana say to the tree? Nothing, bananas can't talk

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What does a black kid get from Christmas? a blunt

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Your mother is so fat that when she sits around the house she is likely to be there for some time.

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Me: Hey mom Mom: Hey Son Me: Whats? for dinner? Mom: I dont know

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How many retards does it take to change a lightbulb?? None it is physically impossible

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An astronaut walks into a bar. He orders a beer. After waiting for about 1 and a half minutes he receives his beer. The bartender says it was 3 dollars. The astronaut checks his wallet and finds no money so he pays with credit card. The bartender swipes his credit card but the card doesn't work. So the astronaut takes out his debit card. When the bartender swipes the debit card it worked. In relief the astronaut looks at the bartender and says "Thank you" and then goes home.

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Hey! Where is my tracker?

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Coming this fall, A hilarious movie for the whole family to enjoy, actor Rob Schneider play a very normal man would goes to work everyday to support his family who he loves more than anything in the world, critics are saying that this is the most vulgar slapstick comedy of the year as Rob Schneider teaches his two adopted kids the power of Jesus Christ. Coming this fall... The Nun's Birthday Rated R for excessive nudity of Rob Schneider and an asian hooker.

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What did the 3 month old puppy get for Valentines day? Heart Worms. What'd he get for Christmas? Put down.

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Why is it interesting to watch your mum shower? It's Not, its sick you pervert

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick... Jack didn't make it over the candle stick and died.

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What do you call a moving tree? A hurricane killing thousands of people and 3 dogs.

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How did Jesus walk on water? Jesus is God in the form of a man, and he is the only human being ever with the ability to perform miracles

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What's the difference between a baby and hot dog? I don't put ketchup on my hot dog when I eat it.

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why was the fat man excercizing? because he was a fatass and no one liked him

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A ninja walked into a dojo and was kindly greeted by his master.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because I pushed him.

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Mom: Ask me if you're adopted Boy: Am I adopted? Mom: yes

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What does the Priest say to the little boy? Size doesnt matter

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An English man, Irish man and a Scotsman walk into a bar. And have a wonderful evening of multicultural entertainment and fun together.

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Roses are red Grass is greener I think of you when I play with my weiner

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"You can't get past" "I'll get future" dad cri mom cri boy bang girl girl cri women's rites sholdnt exist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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