Rock a by baby, In a tree top When the wind blows The cradle will rock, When the bough breaks The cradle will fall And down will come baby Dying on impact.

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What do you call 100 dead babies in my garage? Murder.

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Why doesn't God answer prayers? God does answer prayers, but He does not want you to have everything you want just by asking it, He wants you to work for what you have, everything happens for a reason. ... Nah, it's because God does not exist.

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What do you call a drunk, blind, deaf monkey driving a car? A bloody good driver!

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If you have me you want to share me, if you share me you no longer have me. What am I? (a secrect)

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Why didn't the dinosaur cross the road? Because they are extinct and roads did not exist when they were alive.

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There once was a man from Duluth who's never did rhyme. They were often too short.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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So one day There's a normal average day cheerio walking down the street, just walking along, when all-of-a-sudden he sees the most gorgous frosted cheerio in the world. This frosted cheerio has the most out smooth curves and just sparkles all the time and he immiediately falls in love with this frosted cheerio. So he walks up to the Frosted cheerio and says "Oh my goodness, you are the most beautifal frosted cheerio i have ever seen in my entire life, your just so stunning! Do you wanna marry me?" "Oh thats so sweet of you" said the Frosted Cheerio "but we could never be together because im a gorgous frosted cheerio and your just a normal cheerio". Determined, the Cheerio decides to clean up his act, goes and quits his job at the newsstand and applies for a job at applebees working his way up through the chain of command until a few months later when he finally is manage and becomes a Honey nut cheerio. He then goes to the Beautifal Frosted Cheerio and says "Look at me now! Im a Honey Nut cheerio and we can be together!" "Oh i do appreciate the effort" says the frosted cheerio "But im a frosted cheerio and your just a honey nut cheerio and i dont think it would work out". Even more determined, the honey nut cheerio decides to quit his job at the applebees and decides to go to college and after 8 years of intensive practice, the Honey nut cheerio finally has his Doctor's degree in Optomology and becomes a Frosted Cheerio. He then runs to the Frosted cheerio and says "Look! Im finally a frosted cheerio we can finally be together!" "Oh, Wow" says the beautifal frosted cheerio "Now we can be together!" The two frosted cheerios go on to have an incredibly happy marraige and are in the process of naming their first born child. The husband cheerio goes to the bookstore and buys a young cheerio name book, but after many hours of searching the book has no good names. So the husband goes all the way across the country to get an even bigger book of baby cheerio names and yet, they still cannot find a good name for the first born. Taking a break from finding the name of their first born child, the couple visits their local carnival and after going on many rides the wife becomes quite thirsty so she asks her husband " Honey, could you fetch me a glass of sprite? so the Husband goes to the Sprite line and he waits and waits but the line is just too long. "Im really sorry dear, but the sprite line was just too long" "Oh its fine honey you can just get me some Coke" Happy to get his wife some beverage the cheerio finds the coke line but yet again finds that the line is just too long. "Honey, Im really sorry but the coke line was just way too long" Dissapointed, but still thirst the wife says " Well i guess i could settle for some fruit punch" So the husband leaves but unfortunatly, There was no punch line.

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Q: Where is the One Piece? A: My girlfriend is wearing it.

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Q. What do you call a grammatically incorrect horse? A. An horse.

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A man is playing pacman, on his last life, and is cornered. He inserts another coin in the slot.

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what did the judge say to the lawyer during a trial. He said We are all in a court. thus concluding that the judge was retarted.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didnt, he got hit by a bus.

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Tina: Mom, would you love me if I was straight Mom: Yes Tina: Would you love me if I was gay Mom: Yes Tina: Would you love me if I was Bi Mom: No Tina: Why not Mom: Because that's selfish!

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Your dads so fat he needs to go on a diet

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A man walks into a bar. Nothing happens that's worth explaining.

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Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy wuzzy lost all his hair. Turns out he had brain cancer and died at age 30.

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Fill in the blank: Hello my name is ___, and today I would like to ask you why you put your real name in the blank? Posted by: BerserkSpoon

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This sentence will not end the way you octopus.

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how many jews can you fit in a volkswagon? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and 6 million in the ash trey.

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Why did Sally fall off the swingset? she had no arms... Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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What did the leper say to the prostitute? "How much?! No thanks, I think I'll shop around."

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What's up? Not the Twin Towers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops