roses are red grass is greener get in the bed and suck on my wiener

why didthe man's computer crash? the man has a serious porn addiction

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poems... Nice t*ts

your momma's so ugly that she currently deals with an overwhelmingly self consciousness view of her appearance to the point where she has contemplated suicide and it is in your best interest to seek her medical help in order to preserve her heath and overall well being.

Why is an elephant big, gray and lumpy? Because if it was small, white and smooth it would be an Asprin.

penis?

A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

Roses are red Violets are blue Carnations are cheap and they will not get you a blow job.

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and says to the man running the stand. QUACK!!!

2 doctors are talking to each other? -Dead? -Dead.

I see said the blind man, to his deaf wife, as the cripple ran by.

Roses are red, violets are blue, if i gave a rats ass, I'd worry about you.

Rejected Disney titles: - 1,000,000,001 Dalmatians: The Need of Neutering - Beauty and the Bricks - Zambi: the Walking Deer - The Iron King 2: Simba's Ferride - The Little Mormon - Cinderella 4: The Fairy Godfather and his Mafia - Tarzipan of the Choco-Apes - Brother Boar - Home on Deranged - The Emperor's New Sith Apprentice - Mickey and the Mousetrap - Lilo and B**ch

What do you calk a couple of friends hanging out? An intimate get-together.

rofl lol, the joke below me has made my computer offer to translate this page. It thinks it's in Spanish

How do you stop your golf ball from hitting a goose? You dont.

Why couldn't Jimmy run in the track race? Because he has been paralyzed since he was 3, due to a horrible accident

A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

Looks like you are having a TUFF time recovering from the game.....lol.....

What's the difference between an Asian bookkeeper and a Jewish dog? This isn't a joke, it's an assignment for school, I need to write a 3 page paper on this. Any ideas?

What do you call a black guy that has a big white coat, an assortment of knives and a couple of women working for him? A doctor

Why did Timmy stay home on the day of the big test at the public school? He was homeschooled

Why did a little boy have a black eye? Because his father is very abusive to him and his sister. They are beaten every dad after the father comes home drunk from the bar because his wife also the kids mother died in a car acciedent 1 month before this. Child abuse is not funny and neither is a dead mother.

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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