How do you get a baby to stop crying? Shoot it.

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THE GAME.

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What do you get when an elephant and a pig have baby? Nothing, mating between animals must take place between animals of the same species, thus making it impossible to cross these two animals

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A: "How much rope does it take to hang a baby?" B: "I don't know, how much?" A: "The guy at Home Depot didn't know either."

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A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.

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2 Scientists walk into a bar. The first one asks for H20, and the second one asks for H20 too. They both enjoy a refreshing glass of water.

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Q: What the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies A: I don't have a Porsche in my garage

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the next time someone says "yolo" im going to pull out my shotgun and reply "sadly..."

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Why aren't anti jokes funny? Idk. Watermelon in your pants, you're adopted.

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Why did the man with no arms or legs fall out of the tree? Because he got shot.

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An under aged girl walks into a bar. She couldn't have done so without a fake ID and early development.

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Why did Ant Man die? He was shot by a gangster, duh.

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What's the difference between an onion and a baby ? You cry when you cut the onion.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Kony 2012 - Uganda Be Kidding Me

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Like is like a penis long and easy. But women make it hard

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What did Voldermort say to harry potter? i raped you mum last night!

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your mom is so fat jesus couldnt even lift her spirits

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Why was the Pizza Delivery boy crying? He was sad.

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Rebecca Black walks into a bar she took the back seat

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Many men trespass on my property to taste my milk based beverages. They insist that it's quality is superior to yours. I could teach you how to make such milk based beverages, but I would have to levy a fee.

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Why are anti-jokes funny? They are not because they have no punchline and if you wern't a complete dumbass you would have the ability to read the description on the right off the page.

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Why did the two children go sledding? Because they liked to sled.

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Why was the little girl not allowed to see the pirate movie? It was sold out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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