Roses are shut the f*** up. Violets are shut the f*** up. Shut the f*** up. Shut the f*** up.

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What's the best part of having sex with twenty eight year olds? They are of the legal age

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An alligator crawled into a bar Animal control is promptly called and he is released in a nearby lake

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Girlfriend: Hey, you know whats the cutest thing ever? COMIC SANS Stabs girlfriend in the eyes.

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A girl hears a noise in the middle of the night in her kitchen downstairs. She walks down halfway through the staircase and asks if anyone is there, as if the intruder will say, "Yes, I'm in the kitchen. Want me to make you a sandwich?" *This will never happen. Movies are stupid when it comes to these scenes. No one will actually ask if anybody is there if they hear a noise in the middle of the night.*

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How do u kill a horse? U stab it with a huge butcher knife

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George Zimmerman walks into a bar .

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John said: "This roller coaster makes me green." HIs mother replied: "That's because you have leprosy."

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A religion is like a penis. They are both nouns.

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why did the doctor go to jail? he was found guilty of the murder and rape of a 6 year old boy.

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Penis

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Me: Hey mom Mom: Hey Son Me: Whats? for dinner? Mom: I dont know

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God Nero, Marry me now! I removed the nose thingie but it wont stop.

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How do chinese name their kids? They drop silverware

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i love....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................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.................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... ME

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What did the monkey say after its tail was run over by a lawnmower? It won't be long now.

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a black man walks into a shop for an interview....everyone gets afraid and hides behind there desk..when the black man wonders why they are scarred he says "I'm here for the interview"...they all tell him to leave because on his resume he put his name as john...they thought he was white....

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A bus crashes and everybody dies.

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Q How do you know when a gay walks into a bar A Albert rushes over and starts feeling him up

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One spooky halloween night, three lonely outcasts walk down a dark street, no longer begging for candy. A cold wind blows through the night air and something rustles in a nearby bush one kid walks over to the bush and picks up his dog "OH THERE YOU ARE, BUDDY!"

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic and so am i

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What happens when you agree to disagree? You extend the duration of the argument.

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Why did the boy fart on his sister? Because he was sitting on her, and happened to pass gas.

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What do you call a black garbage man? A garbage man

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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