what do you call a baby with no arms and no legs in a mailbox? a horriffic murder

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A man walks up to his boss and asks "Do you want to hear a funny joke?". His boss replied,"Yes". Before the man could finish his joke, his boss had a heart attack and died instantly. The next day, when he's in his car with his wife, he asks "You want to hear a joke?", the wife replied "Sure,". before the man could finish his joke, a car hit them and the wife died but the man happened to survive. The next day, he sat on a bench mourning, his friend walked up to him and asked, "Why are you sad?". the man answered, "Every time I try and tell a joke someone dies!", his friend said, "That's not true, just tell me the joke." "Ok" "Two Pigeons walk into a-". Before he can finish his joke his friends is kidnapped and killed. Sadly, the man walks to a ledge, jumps off and commits suicide. The End

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"Hey hey hey, did you hear the joke about the guy with terminal cancer?" "No." "Sorry to break it to you then."

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Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. A number is a mathematical object used to count and measure.It is not a living thing and therefore does not possess thoughts and feelings.

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What did the doctor say to the recently diagnosed AIDS patient? I'm sorry there is nothing we can do.

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What starts with an N and ends with R, that you wouldn't want to call a black person? Neighbor

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Why not zoidburg? Because Zoidburg is a alien from another planet and the human population is probally afraid to talk to him do to the potential danger of alien contact.

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Plumber, ma'am." "Thank God you're here. I haven't been able to take a shower in three days."

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roses are red violets are blue your mum is a whore as are you:)

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There once was a man from Peru, he couldn't fit into his shoe. He went to Brazil bought a big. Swallowed it and died.

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What do you call an Arab guy flying a plane? A pilot.

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How does a yeti say hi? Raaawwwrrrr

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A blind man walks into a bar. He had a few drinks then went home.

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What's worse then spilling milk? Instantaneous Human Combustion

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What did the man say to his wife before she made him a sandwhich? Do your job and make me a sandwhich.

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What did the dog say when the tiger bit him? Nothing. Dogs don't talk.

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Bob is asleep. Knock knock. Whos there? NOT BOB

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Two muffins are in an oven. They say nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and therefore cannot talk.

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A man walks into a bar hes later assassinated and mourned by his family.

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Moon: The sun shines bright like a virgin. He must be high..

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am epileptic. SLAWWAWASWAKHINGAGAGAGAKIHARGAVBAZSAWAWAWAWAAAAA

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How can you outsmart Stephen Hawking? Steal the wheels of his chair and replace them with a dolphin.

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What did Hitler get his son for Christmas? An Ez-bake oven and a GI Jew

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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