What do you call a zebra with no stripes? A zebra with no stripes

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A stripper walks into a bar, she proceeds to cry because she's an alcoholic and a stripper. Meanwhile, her 3 children sit at home hungry. She then goes home, and grabs her gun and shoots her children, then shoots herself. Bucket.

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Q: How do you get a giraffe into a refrigerator? A: You open the door put the giraffe in and the close the door. Q: How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? A: You open the door to the refrigerator take the giraffe out then put the elephant in and close the door. Q: The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals attend but one, which one is it? A: The elephant it's in the fridge Q: You have to cross a river that is inhabited by crocodiles how do you cross it? A: You swim across, the crocodiles are at the animal conference.

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In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

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Why couldn't Bruce drive a truck? Cause Bruce was a Fish.

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Immaculate Misconception - Motionless In White \m/

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What's the best thing about the Pixies? Their music.

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What did Santa say to his elf? Nothing. Santa isn't real. Elves aren't either for that matter.

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What did the penis say to the vagina during intercourse? It didnt say anything, the male said to the female "i like pickles."

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Q. How many grains of rice can you fit in an egg? A. Fire extinguisher.

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what did the policeman say to an armed robber? you can go, as long as you don't hurt my doughnuts

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Jimmy has nine bags of sugar. He eats nine bags of sugar. What doeshe have now? Diabetes

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What's worse than a crying baby on a trans-Atlantic flight? A hungry lion on a trans-Atlantic flight.

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roses are red violets are blue What smells like poo? Your waffle's blue

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Why did the boy fail his maths test? He had no eyes due to a vicious bear attack earlier that year so couldn't read the questions or study from books resulting in him not being able to complete the task he was given.

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How did Bella fly? Very badly.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? 9/11

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What can hitler cook well Steak

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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Why couldn't the black guy support his family? He was only 3 years old.

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Why did the director call cut? Because he was shot dead by Nazis.

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Want to hear the funniest joke in the world? I forget how it goes but it ends with the abolishment of slavery.

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What do you get for the man that has everything already? Another one.

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Your mum's so fat, she attends regular weight loss facilities to lose weight.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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