Your Mama's so fat she can't fit into a toy car!

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A middle aged man goes to a psychic. She tells him that he has prostate cancer, and his wife has been cheating on him for the past 3 years.

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How did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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Pooring urine into your eyes, is a natural way to cure pink eye. Found this out this morning.

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What's the difference between your momma and a bucket of shit? Well, for starters your mother and a bucket of shit aren't even made of the same physical structure, and secondly, your mother is sentient while a bucket is not.

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How many Jews can you fit in a one-person car? --One in the drivers seat, 30 million in the ashtray

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Hey babe, do you like video games, movies, mystery books, philosophy, walking in the park, going to the gym, riding bicycles, traveling around the world, and meeting new people? Because I like video games, movies, mystery books, philosophy, walking in the park, going to the gym, riding bicycles, traveling around the world, and meeting new people.

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what did the window say to the other window nothing they are both inanimate objects

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Why does an ostrich have such a long neck? Because its head is so far from its body.

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A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Ryan Holden is a faggot.

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you cant spell slaughter withought laughter

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If a quiz is also referred to as a quizzicle, then what is a test also referred to as? A test, really. There are no synonyms for 'test' which would result in a humorous punchline; 'exam,' 'essay' and 'evaluation' are the closest possible answers and none of them provide humor at all.

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Q: What is Fftp poort grtz gruxxyw? A: DYSLEXIA!

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Cody went to the store. Big Floppy Donkey Dick.

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Q. Why did the 40 year old woman puts on a large amount of makeup? A. She may have gerontophobia.

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Why did Sally sell seashells by the seashore? Because she has no arms and couldn't find a job.

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why did tyler detweiler walk across the street? he didnt he has ceribral palsey

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Why did the Titanic sink, even though people said it was unsinkable? Grit and determination.

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Why was the black man sad? Because his wife and children had been killed in a freak car accident while he had been driving.

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Black people

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Bee1:Boo Bee2:Boo Look i found 2 boobies:)

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What do you call an Arab guy flying a plane? A pilot.

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Whats the difference between a black guy and Luke Skywalker? Luke met his real father

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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