- Anti Joke

There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry." "No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away." "I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."

Your mother is so ugly that I removed her from my friends list on Facebook.

You see that dog over there with no tail? You know what that means, don't you? What? Someone cut it off.

You're so black that other black people make fun of how black you are.

Ammy Winehouse walks into a bar Don't you said we should stop jocking about dead people ?

What did the boy reading a book do? Well, studies show that reading connects the synapses in the human brain, thus, making said boy reading the book a tad bit smarter.

have you seen hellen kellers new treehouse? no well neither has she

This winter: "The seal is broken, as the spirits of hell go across the world, I can help you find them Clint! But only you can prevent them from killing your family!" "I will do whatever I must!" "Be careful, you can only see them with medication sample X, and destroy them with the super addictive Meladocs 5" "HOW DO I KILL THEM! I CANNOT HANDLE MORE MELADOCS 5! ITS ADDICTIVE AS HELL!" "Only you can save us Clint, only you can do this until their world malfunctions saving us all, but killing you in the process!" "I WILL... I CAN!... UGH... HOW MUCH LONGEEEEEEEEEEEEER!" THE PACKMAN: THE MOVIE.

Why was Timmy crying? because his impaled his dog while in a drunken rage

Why is 6 afraid of 7 because 7 is a escaped mental patient that thinks 6 betrayed him

Blonde: Hey, what does "Idk" mean? Blonde's friend: "I don't know" Blonde: Thank you for telling me, that has been bothering me for quite some time now.

what's the difference between a jew and a pizza? a jew is a member of a religion called Judaism, they're generally tall and have curly hair, however not in all situations is this true. They celebrate Chanukah and passover and many other holidays. Pizza is an italian dish, it's round, has red sauce and cheese on it and is pretty tasty.

What did the taxi driver say to the chicken when the chicken called a cab? "aren't you supposed to be crossing a road somewhere?" Little did the taxi driver know that the chickens license was taken away for multiple DUIs because when his wife left him he became an alcoholic mess, lost his job and became depressed. But when he called the taxi, he was on his way to a job interview. Since he never made it to his job interview he soon went broke and lost his home. Having hit rock bottom, the chicken unawarely started to cross a busy road and was ran over by that same taxi driver.

What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, whereas Michael Jackson was a singer.

A man gets kicked in the testicles... Ow

What did Osama bin Laden say to Jesus? Nothing. He's in hell.

What do you call a 2 storied house ?

This is an anti-joke.

what is worse than falling off a bridge? .. getting pushed off a bridge

Yolo is for losers, I have 9 lives...meow

What is white, black and blue all over? A zebra that was assaulted by Chuck Norris.

Laugh.

the holocaust

What is a baby chick after 9 days old? 10 days old.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops