How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Depends. Are you applying a lot of pressure and licking in short, round bursts, or are you softly suckling on the treat? Your mouth's pH level is also a determining factor, as the sucker digests at a quicker rate the higher the acid content. To put it simply, there is no correct answer, because the sheer quantity of variables makes it a tootsie-less endeavor. See how I said tootsie-less rather than fruitless? Now that's a real joke.

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Who let the dogs out? The burglar, he broke the door and they ran out.

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What happens when an alien goes out in the rain It gets wet

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't.

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A horse shits himself SHITLESS!

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What did the duck with one leg say to the pirate? Woof.

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what do you call a black man that sells drugs

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There was a curtain who sneezed and then asked you for a tissue. He was in a room with two chairs a coffee table and a 37 year old bookcase, why did he sneeze???? Because he had a cold!!????

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Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the salamander, macaroni and cheese.

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why didn't the chicken cross the road... because it got hit by a truck

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What do you call a black man approaching your car in uniform whose name happens to be Darius? Officer Darius.

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5 Italian guys from Long Island

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What do you get when you combine a baby and a chainsaw? 30 years to to life in prison.

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A: Knock Knock. B:Whose there? A:Jehovah witness!

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My name is Will I am a real homosexual

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What happened to the chicken when it crossed the road? Nothing because the cars that almost hit it swerved off the road.

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This is not funny.

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The Mexican; the black man had too much alcohol and the Mexican was the designated driver.

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What do black people and white people have in common? They are both mentioned in this box

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Wife: "I suggest you check properly next time you lose your keys so that you find them quicker" Husband: "I suggest that next time I sit down and have a beer while I wait for Doc Martin and his time machine to give my keys back.

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What do you call it when you mix a raccoon with an 18-wheeler? A bloody mess on the highway. That smells like cheese

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Why was Little Bobby sad? He just superglued Uranus to his forehead.

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Mom: what does IDK, LY, and TTYL mean? Son: I don't know, love you, and talk to you later. Mom: OK, I'll ask your sister.

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Your momma is so fat because she ate alot!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops