Q:What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting raped by a giant scorpion

thumb_up thumb_down

How many blonds douse it take to change a light bulb I dont know it hasn't happened yet

thumb_up thumb_down

This is not a joke.... It is mind rape.

thumb_up thumb_down

*Knock knock* "Who's there?" "Would you mind turning your music down a bit please? I have reports to write."

thumb_up thumb_down

whats worse then falling out of a tree? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down

I was on Facebook today. Opened someones wall. Read "LIKE if you know someone that needs to be smacked in the face with a shovel." So I liked it and wrote my exboyfriend's name.......

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the ginger say to god? Nothing it has no soul

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did hellen keller's dog kill itself? You would to if your name was, AIIEEEEIUUUUHGH!

thumb_up thumb_down

It's yellow and when you press the button, it becomes red... A baby chicken in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down

Me Neither.

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock, Knock, Who's there? The IRS.

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? Using teamwork and coordination, each can place one foot on the seat of the stool, and using each other for balance and support, they can all stand on the stool. The fact that they are gay is prevalent.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the boy lose the race? Because he is morbidly obese.

thumb_up thumb_down

Your mom is so nice.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? I shot him in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down

cats are pussies

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the kid with turrets CHEESE! say to his mom.

thumb_up thumb_down

Three men walk into a bar. Something happens not at relating to them.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A depressed man walks into a bar. He has a drink and heads back to his apartment. On the way he was killed by another man attempting to commit suicide due to depression.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: Why did the white man die? A: because he had cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why was billy sad because in the morning he witnessed his mom get stabbed in the throat repeatedly by a clown then he saw the clown in the cop car but his mask was off and it turned out to be billys dad

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Depends. Are you applying a lot of pressure and licking in short, round bursts, or are you softly suckling on the treat? Your mouth's pH level is also a determining factor, as the sucker digests at a quicker rate the higher the acid content. To put it simply, there is no correct answer, because the sheer quantity of variables makes it a tootsie-less endeavor. See how I said tootsie-less rather than fruitless? Now that's a real joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

1)Where do you find a turtle with no legs? 2)Where? 1)Where you left it. 1)... Knock Knock... 2)Who's there? 1)...Not the turtle...

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops