How do you get a clown off a swing? You kill him with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down

What do Gary Glitter and Michael Jackson have in common? They are both successful pop stars

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call someone who copies a previously posted anti-joke without doing any research to see if it has been posted before? a lazy good for nothing rectum licking testicle sucking gonad gobbling arse bandit with narcissism issues

thumb_up thumb_down

1st person: What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? 2nd person: I don't know 1st person: A Jew is a follower of the zionist faith and a pizza is a popular food invented in Italy and comes with your choice of several delicious toppings. 2nd person: But not all Jews follow zionism 1st person: Well some places restrict your choice of toppings. Whats your point?

thumb_up thumb_down

Why doesnt snow like Asians? Snow is a form of precipitation within the Earth's atmosphere in the form of crystalline water ice, consisting of a multitude of snowflakes that fall from clouds. Since snow is composed of small ice particles, it is a granular material. It has an open and therefore soft structure, unless packed by external pressure. Snowflakes come in a variety of sizes and shapes. Types which fall in the form of a ball due to melting and refreezing, rather than a flake, are known as graupel, ice pellets or snow grains. Therefore since snow is unhuman they are then thus incapable of emotions because they lack any vitals organs.

thumb_up thumb_down

Japan is Weird We aren’t saying Japanese people are weird but it’s a fact that the strangest pictures floating around the internet are from Japan.

thumb_up thumb_down

what did blonde say to the square? ur a square which is comprised of four equal sides and always have four lines of symmetry.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why don't you want to shout "Hi" to your friend Jack on an airplane? Because he's deaf and will not hear you.

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red. Violets are purple

thumb_up thumb_down

"....did he fire six shots or only five....." It doesn't really matter, considering he will die of blood loss soon

thumb_up thumb_down

What the the Tyrannosaurus say to the chicken? Dinosaurs are extinct and even if they were not, it would not say anything to a domestic fowl, it would most likely devour it with one bite.

thumb_up thumb_down

One day... Jack: Good morning Ben: Good morning The End.

thumb_up thumb_down

A bartender walks into a bar. About 8 hours later, he goes home.

thumb_up thumb_down

Dislike this joke for a cookie However if you like this joke you dont get a cookie

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the man say when he walked into a bar? Nothing because he got knocked out because he was running too fast and hit his head.

thumb_up thumb_down

What a wonderful life!!! *gunshot*

thumb_up thumb_down

What was the little boys least favorite part of Christmas? Getting raped by his uncle.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the garbage man cross the road? He was doing his job.

thumb_up thumb_down

A girl walks into a supermarket. She picks up a banana, a can of soup, and a loaf of bread. She then walks up to the cash register to pay. The cashier looks at her and the items she has and says, "I can tell you're single." She smiles and responds, "How do you know that?" He says, "Because you're ugly."

thumb_up thumb_down

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he has no sense of living and no muscles to move.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's wet and pink and fun to watch in someone's face? A big bubble gum bubble exploding into someone's face.

thumb_up thumb_down

Did u know that 10/10 people die?

thumb_up thumb_down

A young woman goes to a wild, infamous nightclub, all alone. She arrives safely at home a few hours later.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's it called when One Direction wins a Grammy Award? It's never going to happen; so why give it a name?

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops