How did Bob survive the plane crash? He didn't

Two men are walking along the Great Wall of China. "Do you know how many years it took to build this?" one man asked. "Yes," the other replied. "Me too."

What song did Buddy the elf sing for Santa on his birthday? Happy birthday

An atmosphere goes into one bar. Which is pretty normal since it is roughly the regular value of the atmospheric pressure on Earth at sea level

Did you hear the one about the bus driver? Me neither

an dislexik nam rwote hits

Why did the girl fall off of her highchair? Her father threw an axe at her.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The farm was sold and he had no other place to go.

What did the waiter say to an overweight customer? May I take your order?

What did Helen Keller name her dog? jhdfsuigtreyuiertfguiryhg

What is just as important as Woman's Rights? Woman's Lefts, to maintain equality.

what did the lamp say to the woman Nothing, a lamp is a plastic glass and metal inaminate object therfore it can not speak

Why are black people so good at basketball? Hard work and dedication

Your momma's so fat, she's at risk of a number of cardio-vascular problems, including high blood pressure, leading to heart disease, stroke, type II diabetes, and a premature death. She also has an elevated risk of contracting cancer.

What happened when the Mexican lays his head on a pillow? He falls asleep

What did the caterpillar say to the robot? Nothing. Caterpillars do not have vocal chords and there are not, as yet, any truly portable robots capable of comprehending speech so to speak to one would be pointless.

What do an octopus and a cat have in common? They are both multicellular organisms that are living creatures, and therefore are both sentient and can perform simple tasks and make simple decisions.

Why did the chicken cross the road? No one knows because humans do not have the capability of accessing the chickens brain to receive their knowledge and what they were thinking about in the past.

What did the little boy get for Christmas? Presents.

How do you kill a dead baby? You can't, it's already dead.

What's the difference between my mom, and a bag of garbage? A bag of garbage is incapable of contracting aids

A smart kid just answered a question in class, a blonde girl then says "Nerd, your always answering all the questions". The teacher then says "Hey thats not nice, he could be your boss one day." The smart kid quickly replies "Highly unlikely, i do not plan on being a pimp when i grow up".

I'm gay Mr Goodwin

What did Batman tell Robin when they got to Gotham City? -Robin, we got to Gotham City.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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