Im Harold Camping.... and i enjoy scaring the shit out of you

Whats the hardest thing to have sex with? a goldfish.

What made the old man laugh? A pile of dead babies.

What do fruits and computers have in common. Microsoft.

Roses are red, Because they can intrinsically change color through natural dyes.

Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

Why did the boy cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

Philosoraptor, turds IM A SPAMBOTz B=Not really, just blind.

Why did the family at dinner not tip the waiter? He was mean and spat in their food.

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie...

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Beacuse he got kicked out of the bar

Why did the chicken cross the street? I don't know really

Q: Why did the fork cross the balloon? A: Apples

why did Sally fall off of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there?

A fat African a rich mexican and a gay guy jump off a cliff. Who hits the ground first? The gay guy because fat Africans and rich Mexicans don't exist

What do you call a woman who loves sex and food? A fat whore.

A dirty joke Three white horse's are walking down a trail one falls in the mud

Hey! I just met you. And this may seem crazy. So here's my number: Now Get in the van.

Who did sally vote for in 1920 Nobody woman couldnt vote until 1928

Bare with me here, im gonna change this up a bit What's better then finding a worm in your apple

What's big, brown, and full of crap? A septic tank.

Why did Suzie fall off the swings? Because she didn't have arms or legs. Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Suzie

Q: On a scale of 1 to 10, what is your favorite color of the alphabet? A: Apple

Your mother is so old, she could easily be considered a senior citizen.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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