Why are trees green? I have no idea

Committing Suicide #YOLO

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

Smelly Indians.

What did the black man get for Christmas? A felony conviction.

Why did Ant Man die? He was shot by a gangster, duh.

Wanna hear a funny joke? Sure. Me too, do you have any?

And so the Lord said unto John "Come forth and receive eternal life," but John came fifth, and won a toaster instead.

What did the man with the gun say to the man without the gun? I have a gun

Why does the Gay guy have a bell on his bike? Because its the only way his blind dog can follow him.

What does a tomato and a human have in common? They both spray red liquid when stabbed repeatedly

Ebola

Friends are like snowflakes When you pee on them they disappear

Happy Birthday!! Have some meth cupcakes.

Who like vibrating dildos? Cammy

What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

How do you fit an elephant into a car? You can't. Unless it's a baby elephant. You would probably also need a convertible with the top down.

A man walks into a bar with a monkey..I forget the rest but your mother is a whore.

Laugh

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

A wife asks her husband to treat her like she's special. So he tells her, "Gooooooooooo... Maaaaaaaaaaaaake... Meeeeeeee.... Aaaaaa.... Saaaaaaaandwitch

What did the father tell his son who was caught stealing from the teacher? --The father didn't say anything because he walked out on his family when the children were born.

A wise man once said a journey of a thousand steps starts with one step. The wise man also smoked weed and starved to death in a cave.

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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