Once i was walking down the street when i saw a homeless man As i leant to give him money he jumped up and stabbed me. Now i don't approach drunk strangers with hangovers

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Why did the paraplegic roll his wheelchair up a steep hill? Because he's crippled.

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Why did the white kid tear up while watching a segment on slavery? He got something in his eye.

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What do you call a person with no arms, legs, and teeth singing in the middle of the street while spinning? I don't know.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Bob Bob who? Your neighbor

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Facilitator huh? Sounds like someone that kills someone standing in the way, or bribes off others.

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So Nero, seriously, don't be mean, call me, I am going to bed now, nighty nite.

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Q: What does one man with alzheimer's say to the other man with alzheimer's. A: Purple, because magic doesn't go through chickens.

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what happens when a hamster bites your arm? your arm bleeds

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what do u do if a women serves you lunch in the living room? u tighten the chain!!!!!!

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What do you call a black man on a bicycle? A cyclist.

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two snow men standing in a field and one says to the other can you smell carrots

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A boy walks into a bar. He wakes up in a hospital 3 days later with a bruise on his head. He asks the doctor, "What happened?" The doctor replies, "The bartender smashed a glass on your forehead."

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Moon: The sun shines bright like a virgin. He must be high..

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A blonde has a headache, so she goes to the doctor. The doctor prescribes some Advil, she takes it, and then feels significantly better.

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What did the pirate order for breakfast? Pancakes.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm only 13 so if you have sex with me it's illegal.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? A worm in your asshole.

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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"So can we take the rest of the schoolday off?" the students asked. The teacher then asked: "Why?" The students explained: "Because some of us live far away and it's impossible to get through the masses of snow, especially if the snowfall continues like this." "Well, I can't give you time off, because the principal haven't said it has snowed enough just yet." he responded.

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Why do Mexican's wear pointy shoes? Because its part of their culture and is used as a sign of dignity when dancing to tribal music

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What's worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice.

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what is purple and fly? - a purple flying.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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