Knock knock. Who's there? Insurance. Insurance who? I'm sorry, sir; we can't fix your liver because you don't have any insurance.

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I can't make my mind about the debate on legalisation of marijuana. Some days I think it's a good thing. Somes days I think it's a bad thing. And some days, I don't think about it at all and I just think it's a very nice day.

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What is invisible and smells like cheese? Cheese. I lied about the invisible part, because cheese is not invisible.

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What do you call thousands of people running through london? The marathon

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Did you hear about the man with 3 balls? He liked tennis

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Silence is golden, duct tape is silver.

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What's red and has zippers? Nothing, because watermelons can't physically drive without the help of a sheeps spinal cords ... DUH

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How do u wake up lady gaga You go into her room and yell at her

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why did Sallt fall off the swings? she had no arms knock knock who's there not Sally

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a man walks into a bar some other people get up and greet him as they are his friends. he then has a great night with his friends. he goes home and goes to sleep. he wakes up with a man next to him

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Why was Timmy crying when he got home? His family was dead in a pile with a pitchfork going through each of their bodies

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A man is hungry so he gets on his coat and shouts : "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!". His wife says not to because the police say the rapist 'Eggman' is out again. He says he will be very careful. On his way he hears 'They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggmen-" and the man shouts: "AND I AM THE WAlRUS, SO GET THE HECK OUTTA MY FACE OR I WILL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" The Eggman and the man found two more people from Liverpool and formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band broke up.

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Roses are red Violets are Blue Let's just screw

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Q:Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? A: Neither did she

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What do you call a dog with no legs Nothing it won't come

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why did the cow say "moo"? because he's a cow and that's what cows say.

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why couldnt the man dunk? because he was 3' 2" and a legal midget.

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What happens after Madeline McCann disappears. Jokes.

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What is Black, White and Asian? A Panda Bear

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What did the flower say to it's friends? I want to kill a Christmas tree.

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old man: hi old woman: i have alshemiers old man: hi old woman: i have alshemiers

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What's the difference between a porsche and a pile of dead babies. I'd rather had the porsche in my garage

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What did the man say to the woman before he had sex with her? "May I have sex with you, please?"

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Want to hear a joke? Jerry Sandusky's innocence

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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