A man asks his doctor if you can die from drinking to much water. The doctor replies 'Yes you can'

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What's a good way to kill time? It's impossible to kill an inanimate object.

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What do a Jew and a homeless man both have in common? They both get nothing for Christmas

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How many fish fingers does it take to change a lightbulb? Five.

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What do you get a kid with no arms for Christmas? Hungry, Hungry Hippos.

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There were three elephants in a bathtub. One said, "Pass me the soap." The other one said, "What do you think I am? A Radio???"

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Ask me if I'm wearing pants. Are you wearing pants? Yeah.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing. I don't know. Why? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Brian knew how to save the world from the death penalty: "Let's kill everybody who is not against it." So I killed Brian and waste my time in death row now.

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Say you are caught in a net with 10 other people in said net at a construction site. A pair of scissors are right next to you and everyone said to use the scissors. But instead of using the scissors, you use your teeth in risk of a broken tooth.

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A: What are the nine most terrifying words in the English dictionary? B: What are they? A: I'm from the government and i'm here to help

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What did the cake say to the icing? Come here

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Who did the dinosuar, that's pretty fricken awesome!

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whats the best part of having sex with twenty-three year olds? there's twenty of them.

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Why did the man tell the child to get into the van? They were late for a field trip.

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roses are red pickles are green i like your legs and whats in between

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Whats the difference between a rake and a sack of dead babys? i dont have a rake in my garage.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "We are both lawyers."

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hi

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Q: Why did the guy ring the doorbell? A: Because he was sick of all the crappy knock-knock jokes

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Knock Knock ............... No one's home.

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What did the man think of when he saw a squadron of military bombers flying over his home? The football game is about to start

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What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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