You are the most beautiful person in the world.

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What did Tarzan say when he saw a herd of Elephants coming over the hill? Oh look, a herd of Elephants coming over the hill.

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What would Abraham Lincoln do if he were alive today? Scream and scratch at the lid of his coffin.

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The $5.00 Foot-long at Subway's is actually $5.45 due to tax.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? Because it was white

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head on into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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Your mother is so ugly that nobody wants to date her because she is hideous.

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A black man and a mexican are in a car. Whos driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful time. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Whats the difference between a Corvette and a dead bag of babies. -there's not a Corvette in my garage

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What's the difference between Futurama and One Direction? Futurama only has one bender.

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What do gamers call an abortion on quintuplets? PENTAKILL!!!

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Why don't nuns wear bras? Because god supports everything!

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in New York? He woke up.

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How many Caucasian American males does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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What do you call Jack Black on a bad day? Kevin Hart.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to prove he wasn't chicken

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Sara

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What does the Priest say to the little boy? Size doesnt matter

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What's the difference between sand and menstral blood? I can't gargle sand

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How many kleptomaniacs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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What did the KKK member say to the african american man. Nothing, he just killed him.

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I used to be an adventurer like you. But then I retired and started a family.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road A: Will Smiths rapping attempt was suprisingly not harmful to his career as he later played in blockbusters such as Independence Day, Men in Black, The Pursuit of Happiness ect..

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My uncle Magnus and my Aunty Agnus had a baby and named it.............Death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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