So two men were drinking beer and one asks "Why are you so sad today, Lenny?" The other man replies "Because I was just diagnosed leukemia." Four days later Lenny dies and his body was buried at Cherryhill Cemetery where his family mourned over his death.

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What are the two words that once you hear, You will feel a sudden gush of euphoria followed by immense depression? The Game

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"You go, Glen Coco" -Mean Girls, 2004

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-Why didn't a girl cry after she fell down with her bike? -Because a handlebar pinned her lung.

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why did the baby fall out of the crib? it was dead

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Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

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Two friends that are 11 years old are fighting with each other, and one of them says, " Shut the front door." The other friend replies, "We don't even have a front door, because we're both homeless, and we're never going to be adopted because we're on an island, that's how we became friends in the first place."

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Chuck Norris and Bane recently had a fight on a bet. The result was Bane won easily as he is the much bigger and stronger man, and Chuck Norris lacks the skills he once possessed as a younger man as he is now 72 years old.

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JOSH BROWN STOP ADDING PEOPLES NAMES TO THE END OF YOUR TRUE STORIES!

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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What's more fun then spinning a dead baby around on a clothesline at 50 miles an hour? Stopping it with a shovel.

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Check out page 4016 :)

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What's green, [ THIS BIG ] and flies around the room... A remote controlled gherkin!

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There is a man laying on the floor in a pool of blood and vomit, there is a broken beer bottle in a puddle of beer next to him. He thinks is a sponge.Purple

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The once was a man from Nantucket, Who gave up on his life and said "damn this!" Then he won lots of money, His future looked bright and sunshiny Until one day he suddenly died

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whats long, hairy, and has one eye? my cat fluffy, he has cancer.

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How do you fit a giraffe into a refrigerator? You cut it into pieces.

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What the difference between a car and a dead child I dont have a car in the basement

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whats a mexicans favorite sport? cross counrty

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what do yo call two dog? dogs.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock (who's there?) Not Sally.

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What do you call a computer running Windows DOS? Obselete

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What did Dave tell me on Tuesday? "It's Wednesday, dumbass."

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What did the Iraqi Suicide bomber bring on the airplane? His Kindle, he enjoys reading books

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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